Being Trans Is Not Revolutionary You Still Have to Be a Good and Decent Person

When I look back at my life I see my being transsexual as one of the least radical and least revolutionary things about me.

Perhaps others view it that way but I cannot.

I simply see it as being myself and living my life authentically.

You supply your own suffix to the word trans…  Your life, your choice of words for describing that life…

For myself a quote from Anais Nin has always seemed to describe the reason why I came out while I was 21.

And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.

I was fortunate.  I grew up and came of age when authenticity was far more important than image.  I lived among people who valued authenticity and honesty.

As Dylan sang, “When you live outside the law, you must be honest.”

Coming out was natural once I dug deep enough and found my authentic self.  Anything less wouldn’t have been living up to my personal ideals.

Recently TransGriot, Monica Roberts posted: It Is Revolutionary To Be Trans

In it she quotes Laverne Cox “It is revolutionary for any trans person to choose to be seen and visible in a world that tells us we should not exist.”

I beg to differ.

Living authentically is just being yourself.

Further given all the hatred of anyone who is different in any degree from some imaginary standard any act of non-conformity takes courage.

When one is down by law due to something about their being, and we should know that includes things like race, class, and a whole slew of other factors including trans… Well then just the being trans isn’t revolutionary or even radical.

If it were then sisters who are silicone pushers are revolutionary even as they maim and kill other sisters.

If simply being trans is revolutionary then the vicious name calling trolls like Jennifer Usher and others are revolutionary.

The same could be said of those sisters and brothers who are openly racist, proud to embrace right wing values.

Or those trans-folks who wind up dying from substance abuse because they never had the courage to 12 step their way into sobriety.

Just being something that one is born is not revolutionary.

On the other hand being trans and living your life with honesty and dignity, showing generosity and kindness to other sisters and brothers, well that’s pretty radical.

You don’t have to be a leader to do this, you simply have to strive to be good and decent.

Too often we show jealousy and spite towards each other.

Spite and jealousy are not virtues, living down to all the negative stereotypes people have of us isn’t revolutionary.

Sometimes being a good example rather than a bad one is the most radical thing one can do.

One of the big short comings of the Trans-Movement has been the way everyone declares themselves a leader.

People who say they just want to live their lives are told they need to be leaders.


Why can’t we just relax and go about our lives being good decent people, supporting our various progressive causes, while living quiet lives as ordinary decent ethical people?

Actually being a revolutionary is a hard life that tends to lead to an early death.

It isn’t a term to use lightly as though it were an advertising term.

It’s Time to Stop With The T Word

From The Advocate:

Some may think using the t word is permissible, but trans women who are the target of the hate that the word conjures don’t necessarily agree.

BY Parker Marie Molloy
February 20 2014

Last year I wrote a piece on The Huffington Post titled “Gay Dudes, Can You Just Not?” that generated digital eye rolls, nasty comments, and even threats from readers. It was critical of use of the word “tranny” by gay and bisexual men. The central idea was that the word, which I’ll now simply refer to as “the t slur,” is, in fact, a slur. It’s a term tied to a history of violence, oppression, anger, and hate. It’s a term I’ve been called by those who wish to harm me. And frankly, it’s a term many trans women, like slain New Yorker Islan Nettles, hear immediately prior to falling victim to physical violence.

I dared to inform those who use the word, who think they have a “pass” on account of themselves being part of the “LGBT community,” that it’s not their word to use, and it’s not their slur to “reclaim.”

As expected, response to my essay was dismissive and hostile. “The author is way off base,” one commenter wrote. “The word is just a shortened version of ‘transvestite,’ which is another description of a drag queen,” another said. “Words are just words,” said another. And referring to the use of the t slur on Glee, someone wrote, “You can easily tell that the kids of Glee were saying it out of love in the classroom,” and telling me to “lighten up, grow up.”

I never fully got the opportunity to refute the things said in those comments. But it’s that time of year again, when RuPaul’s show heads back to the cable, and the already high level of transphobic content on television spikes. So what better time than now to tackle this issue again?

Leela Ginelle at PQ Monthly described the conversation following my previous essay as “breaking the queer corner of the Internet.” Here’s my attempt at putting it back together with a warning: fragile.

RuPaul and others contend that the t slur isn’t aimed at trans women, and therefore, he, as a cisgender, gay man, is welcome to use the term as he sees fit. He’s gone so far as to denounce those who have apologized for using the term. “It’s ridiculous! It’s ridiculous!” RuPaul told The Huffington Post’s Michelangelo Signorile in 2012. “I love the word ‘tr*nny.’”

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