Forget the fake “war on Christmas”: End the war on autumn!

From Salon:

The worst part of “Christmas creep”? It tramples decorative gourd season

Wednesday, Nov 13, 2013

It’s an increasingly inevitable side effect of living in a retail-obsessed culture – the “Christmas creep” that gets earlier and earlier every year. And this year, it’s more extreme than ever.

On a balmy Saturday morning this past September, I went to Ikea to buy a new desk for my daughters. I knew Ikea on a Saturday would be nightmarish enough, but what I hadn’t expected was that it would be holiday nightmarish. The warehouse was already decked out for the holidays — complete with fully decorated trees. The next day, I went to Target, where, in between the discounted back-to-school supplies and a still-in-progress Halloween section, the holiday merchandise was already appearing in the back of the store. And now that we are officially post-Halloween, all seasonal hell has broken loose. The stores are already decked in full red and green regalia – with a few silver and blue nods to this year’s incredibly early Hanukkah. Amazon has already long begun trumpeting its Black Friday deals. Another retailer is vowing that every day is Black Friday this November, which is my definition of Helltopia. This past weekend I went out for brunch, and the restaurant had its tree up and its chandeliers festooned in garland. On the door, there hung a giant wreath. It was so wrong, it almost made me forget about the $5 mimosas.

Plenty of us shudder “TOO SOON” at the way the yuletide now metastasizes all over the damn calendar. As Consumerist recently noted, having what now amounts to three-plus months of holiday time detracts from that special, “Most wonderful time of the year!” sense of wonder. It makes us feel manipulated by dollar-grubbing retailers. But I’ve come to realize there’s something else too.

It’s not that I’m Scroogey about Christmas. Are you kidding? We vaguely crafty, domestic-goddess types live for the annual opportunity to make stuff with cotton balls and twigs, for the chance to flaunt our homemade marshmallows with just a hint of peppermint and to make toffee for our friends. We live for it. A month-long rotation of “Elf” and “A Christmas Story”? Where do I sign up? But when the holidays now begin sometime after Labor Day weekend, you know what all but disappears? Fall.

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