Heterosexual Privilege, Transgender Activists and Their General Pissiness Regarding Marriage Equality

Yet another major reason I want nothing to do with the so called Transgender Community,  that is more like the Borg Cult, has to do with their rampant heterosexism, partnered with their general sexism.

I do not consider woman a social construct that includes people with penises.  It has nothing to do with “gender” either performative or in the form of claimed identity.  Women are adult females based on the same criteria that are generally used to assign sex at birth.

Sex Reassignment Surgery or sex change operations are just that; operations that change people’s sex.

I am not very sympathetic towards people who want to have their cake and eat it too.  Becoming a woman or man via surgery and expecting to be legally considered a member of the sex to which one has been reassigned means living with the same set of rules other women and men have to live by.  Why should you be an exception?

Yes I do hear the pleadings of long term relationships and commitments, prior contracts.  Yet I have difficulty reconciling those pleadings with claims of always having known you really were transsexual.  That is sort of like the gay man or lesbian who enters a heterosexual marriage hoping to be cured.

Perhaps I would have less difficulty with it and the level of heterosexual privilege such an act entails if there were marriage equality or even if the heterosexual marriages of post-transsexual women and men were not so open to challenge and delegitimatizing.

But we do not live in a perfect world, but rather one that religious fanatics and their political allies have made extremely difficult for people, who fall outside of prescribed boundaries.

Same sex marriage achieved via sex reassignment surgery isn’t new.  I knew of one such family in 1972 when I went through surgery in the Stanford Program.

When I have had the opportunity to observe the internal family dynamics many have seemed more like those of heterosexual couples than either gay or lesbian couples.  At times they seem to closely resemble the dynamics of families where the husband is a heterosexual transvestite.  While this is probably not the case in all or even most of these continued marriages, it is true within a significant percentage of those which I have observed. Indeed it seems more prevalent in the marriages which have been in place for many years and where transsexualism was not on the table from the start.  The partner who had surgery to become a woman is still considered the husband by the woman who was the wife.  There tends to be a guarded tolerance for the foibles of a husband who appears to be considered a transvestite who has taken transvestism to its logical conclusion.

On the other hand those marriages which played the system with conscious awareness of the transsexualism of one partner seem more born of the queer world than the straight and seem to be an act of fucking with the Taliban Christer mind set.

Unfortunately, unless such marriages are entered when the partner is pre-op they also fuck with our being recognized as legitimate members of the sex to which we have been reassigned.

One of the major elements of the transsexual vs transgender wars has been the fact that both Transgender Inc and the Transgender Borg Collective have their roots in the heterosexual transvestite world.  This is true no matter how much Christan Williams asserts otherwise.

For the record I was barred from further comment on a thread where Christan held forth about the important role in the transsexual community played by Angela Keyes Douglas, an egotistical self serving mentally disturbed prick who caused post-transsexual lesbians no end of grief during the 1970s when he penned the letter to “Sister” proclaiming the superiority of transsexuals over assigned female at birth women.

He also wrote letters to various police agencies aimed at bringing police harassment down upon legitimate transsexual organizations and later bragged about doing so while claiming paid informant status.

Should I believe what Angela actually said about being a paid informant?  I don’t know.  He was a compulsive liar.  BTW I use he out of respect for his life choices not as a slur because after getting SRS from Dr. Brown at some point in the 1970s, he reverted to living as a man, dying as a man a few years back.

He was never my sister.

In spite of Christan’s assertions of the long history of transsexual embrace of the term “Transgender” and the random evidence shown for those ties, (Such as a review of the Film “Myra Breckenridge”, a film that aroused the same sort of anger and disgust as the recent “Ticked Off  Trannys with Knives”) transsexuals did not embrace the term, “transgender” as applying to them during the 1970s. It was, however, a useful term for those who lived full time but did not get SRS.

Nor was there much of a “Transsexual Community”, if one considers a community based on more than having had an operation.  There were various circles of friends.  Those of us who were hippie dykes tended to have hippie dyke friends.  The same was true of sex workers. The same was true of heterosexual sisters, who embraced a heterosexually married middle class life.

Which brings us back to the “Transgender Community” with its heterosexual transvestite roots.

I’ve been hearing the continuing marriage entered into prior to coming out arguments for the fifteen years or so that I have been on line.

What I haven’t much heard is any acknowledgement of how those marriages undermine our claims of just being ordinary women or men after we have had SRS.  Nor, have I heard much  discussion as to how these marriages undermine the inclusion of post-transsexual women in the lesbian community, where we still have to combat the arguments of male privilege and heterosexism.

Wanting to both have your cake and eat it too.

At the same time I haven’t seen all that much defense of post-transsexual women’s heterosexual marriages on the part of Transgender Inc.  Some seem to give lip service but just as often I have heard the sniping directed at those who were “gay males  made heterosexual by surgery”.  Along with the general hatred directed toward those of us who have the audacity to think of our cunts as really being vaginas and not neo-vaginas or inverted surgically altered penises.

This makes the claims of lesbian solidarity on the part of many late emergers seem sketchy at times. But let’s be generous and give the benefit of the doubt.  If you are lesbian that means putting the interests of women and lesbians first.  It doesn’t mean exercising heterosexual privilege and then rubbing it in when there are those of us who met after SRS and who can not marry in many locales.

But more over being post-transsexual and lesbian should mean at least putting the interests of Transgender Inc. on the back burner or ignoring them completely when those interests conflict with either the interests of women in general or the interests of lesbians in the specific.

I support a Trans-Inclusive ENDA albeit one that covers people who live 24/7/365.  I do so on the basis of human rights and social justice, not on the blither that comes from Transgender Inc.

At the same time I am  fiercely opposed to homophobia.  My support for gay and lesbian rights dates from the mid-1960s, about the same time I became part of the anti-war movement.

I denounced homophobia when it came from within the anti-war movement and when it came from the Black Nationalist Movement.

Just as I started denouncing sexism and misogyny after coming out.  Perhaps it was a matter of the personal being the political.

I also denounced the homophobia I heard from other transsexual women whether it was directed towards gay men or towards lesbians.

I have been an out lesbian for most of my post-SRS life even though I could cop out and claim bisexuality based on my having had lovers of both sexes.

In what appears to be an emerging war between Transgender Inc and “Gay Inc.” (which conveniently erases lesbians) I have to stand with gay and lesbian people.  You see I do not have the same needs as those who have recently come out nor do I identify with either Transgender Inc or the Transgender Borg Collective.

As much as I hate the whole concept of “identity” and “identifying”, I identify as lesbian.

I am extremely disappointed hearing homophobic crap on the blogs of people I other wise respect for their willingness to fight for their principles and stand for what they believe  in.  I can’t say how saddened I am by what I hear on Transgriot and on the ENDABlog.

It seems to be a part of the mindset that requires one identify as a particular group and work only for the benefit of that specific group.

Where is the snottiness directed at those engaged in the struggle for marriage equality coming from?

Why not a little fucking joy over the fact that pre-ops who are in heterogendered but technically same sex marriages can now marry in New York State along with those of us who are post-transsexual lesbians or gay men.  How about a little happiness over the fact that neither post-transsexual heterosexual marriages nor those above mentioned same-sex after SRS marriages can be challenged in NY.

Both Tina and I are from NY.  She is from NYC and I am from upstate.  We have been filled with joy watching the videos on You Tube, reading the announcements and stories in the New York Times.

We go around asking each other, “Will you marry me?  Saying, “Let’s run off to NY and get married.”

The reality is just that fucking awesome…

Christan called me a “Separatist” with regards to Transgender Inc. How can I be a separatist with regards to something I was never a part of is a mystery to me.  Perhaps I am a heathen with regards to the Cult of the TG Borg, someone who never believed.

Part of my non-belief is due to the homophobia that seems to reside at the core of something that grew out of the heterosexual transvestite organizations that were contemporary with the pre-Stonewall Gay and Lesbian organizations.

Or maybe some of my sense of not belong dates from an encounter with the Prince of many names, when he told me I couldn’t be a transsexual and had made a mistake in getting SRS because I came out as lesbian afterwards.

Call it homophobia or call it heterosexism but I think I’ll stick with being part of the gay and lesbian movements as their needs and agenda are closer to my needs and agenda than is the agenda of Transgender Inc.

If Transgender Inc ever manages to get beyond the self-centeredness of identity politics and starts to realize there are issues beyond one’s being either transsexual and/or transgender then perhaps they will learn how to be part of some sort of coalition that works towards serving a variety of people with similar needs.

But I am afraid that Transgender Inc and those involved would rather attack gay men and lesbians for failing to put aside gay and lesbian priorities to focus on the late-comer Transgender Community.

One advantage to having been around the Lesbian/Gay Communities for all these years is having been present to watch as events occurred.  One of the advantages of having paid attention to the development of the Transgender Community is that I have watched its ideological growth all these many years.

Being post-transsexual and a lesbian I have also watched how it spews hate at anyone who either rejects being categorized as transgender or who fails to devote their entire lives to the cause.

The targets of the focused hate have included lesbians and gay men as well as WBTs, Classic Transsexuals, HBS supporters and people who simply reject all labels. Even failure to live up to expectation resulted in the trashing of Mara Keisling.

But over and above that many gay men and lesbians have been targeted in a manner that suggests extreme homophobia.

This is horizontal hostility of the same sort that has prevented progressive movements from waging an effective defense against the massive ultra-right wing onslaught of the last 40 plus years.

If you look for me at any L/G event I be with the rest of the dykes, I don’t need a “T” or a Trans-Label.  A Purple/Black Star and double Venus are quite enough for me.

17 Responses to “Heterosexual Privilege, Transgender Activists and Their General Pissiness Regarding Marriage Equality”

  1. quenyar Says:

    You know what I’m tired of? I am tired of people thinking they’re special because they self-identify with some label. People are people. Pigs is pigs. People are no more broken because they haven’t had surgery than they are fixed if they have. You are the person you are. Because you made choices, you have chosen to be a different person today than if you had made different choices. Sounds like another day in the human condition. Nothing to see here folks, move along.
    What does matter is who you choose to be and what that person does with and for others. Our lives are about the choices we make and the differences we make for other people. Being trans or transsexual or genderqueer or Jewish or in sales – these are just details: a long list of granfalloons we take membership in.
    I’d be far more moved by your calling me your friend than if you approved of my gender identification and I think highly enough of you that I think we could be friends even if you didn’t approve of my gender identification.

  2. edith Says:

    “a long list of granfalloons we take membership in.”

    Love it! All bow down to Bokonon, now!

    I remember when I was in high school someone I knew was sent to a psychiatrist by his parents. Rumor was he told the shrink he thought he was Popeye. That’s it, I think. We’re all Popeye the Sailor Man. I am, anyway. I am what I am and that’s all that I am. I haven’t said, “what the fuck” in a very long time because last time I did I found myself in handcuffs and had my head smashed against a plate glass door down it the DMV, then was whisked away in a police car into a jail cell but here it goes, what the fuck? I am a Volunteer of America whatever you say we are, we are and we’re very proud of ourselves.

    • Suzan Says:

      What disappoints me most is the homophobia I hear from so many, not only those in Transgender Inc but among post-transsexuals. And it comes from both straight post-transsexuals and from some of the lesbian ones who direct it at sisters who become couples.

      Mostly though I am angry at the anti-gay/anti- lesbian sniping the Gay and Lesbian Communities didn’t go out and recruit Transgender Inc to turn the Gay/Lesbian Movement into an alphabet soup. It was the other way around.

  3. Evan Says:

    As a gay trans guy, I agree with 98% of what you say here. I have no patience for homophobia from Transgender Inc., as you call it. Most of my activism is actually on LGB issues, because being gay has a much bigger impact on my life and my safety and my civil rights than being trans.

    That said, I wonder if you’ve considered the impact of this:

    “I do not consider woman a social construct that includes people with penises. It has nothing to do with “gender” either performative or in the form of claimed identity. Women are adult females based on the same criteria that are generally used to assign sex at birth.

    Sex Reassignment Surgery or sex change operations are just that; operations that change people’s sex.”

    on the FTM side.

    I don’t disagree with you about performative gender being irrelevant. But making surgery and genitals the be-all end-all determinant of sex isn’t going to work for me. Not that I like what I have – God knows if I could trade it in for a passable penis-like organ with erectile function, I’d do it tomorrow. But the things that I can get (no offense to those who have chosen bottom surgery) are not dicks, they don’t look or feel or function like dicks, and they wouldn’t be any more attractive to my partner than what I have now. Nor would they make me feel any more comfortable in my body – what I’m missing is not simply something dangling between my legs in a vaguely cylindrical shape, it’s a complex and highly functional and sensitive set of organs. And for me as a gay guy in particular that difference really matters. My current partner would rather work with what I have now than with the results of surgery, and he doesn’t seem to be an aberration.

    There’s no surgery that can change my genital sex to male. I wish there were. But for now, I’m stuck. And I don’t think that my prospects for legal equality should rest on having a form of surgery that doesn’t even actually make my genitals passably male, much less functionally male. I think the law ought to be satisfied that I have male blood chemistry. That – the fact that I smell, sound, and feel male – is what’s going to scare women if I walk into a women’s bathroom; that’s what’s going to determine whether someone might be attracted to me; that’s what affects my cardiovascular risks, life expectancy, and the like; that’s what affects my emotional regulation, my statistical odds of aggressive or thrill-seeking behaviour, my chances of being arrested. That’s what affects my physical strength and stamina, what determines whether or not it’s fair for me to compete in a women’s sports league, what ought to determine which set of physical fitness standards I should be evaluated under for military/police/etc. employment. That’s the physical change that most affects the things in life that actually matter to the government. Isn’t it?

    • Suzan Says:

      You know I’d be willing to make a different rule for T to M folks than T to F folks. Maybe one that simply required sterilization.

      Part of which is due to my having had sex with a couple of brothers with their “grow your own” non-surgery phalluses that were at least as much phalluses as some of the smallest dicks I’ve seen on assigned male at birth folks.

      But I’ve also seen Loren Camron’s Photos and they show post-SRS dicks that are definitely dicks.

  4. Karen Says:

    “Yet I have difficulty reconciling those pleadings with claims of always having known you really were transsexual”

    I’m sorry you don’t have the ability to understand my life or simply disregard all the times I and others have explained to you how FOR US it seemed impossible to deal when young. How FOR US it was not a matter of just changing hair style to be seen as female. You have been told that because we did not believe it was possible we tried to put it aside as an impossible childhood dream and get on with life… but it STILL caused lots of problems…

    How for those like me, being a loner who who never had ANY relationship until the mid-late 20’s because of it was in and of itself a very hard way to live being alone for so long … and then happening by chance (not even looking) to meet someone that just fit when when expecting to spend life alone.

    But apparently you think that is all made up up or something. Whatever. Live in your black and white world if it makes you happy. Mine is just not that way.

    • Suzan Says:

      Karen,
      Every time I write something about this you act like I am writing it about you, specifically and you respond the exact same way.

      It isn’t about you.

  5. Karen Says:

    You describe a class (those married but knew early on) and make comments about them. I am a member of that class, so yes it is about me. I and my situation are not a particularly unique or a ‘special case’ of that class other than we have know each other on-line for a long time.

    You are championing policies which hurt members of that class. How should I respond to such things?

  6. WifemorethanTS Says:

    I knew at a very young age. I stayed male due to religous fear. Fear that included death.
    I ussed to take great pleasure from being a lesbian in a male body, but that was a ruse in the long run it turned out.
    Before my wife married me I told her I had GID and I might some day transition. Then she hit me with a big whammy. She had it also. We spent years living as a husband and wife. Now we are a wife and husband.
    I have no intention to change my genitals. Why should I? My husband can never get a working penis I can only leave him behind if I get srs. We can make love as it is and it works for us. For the two of us we live in a weird world where the woman has a penis and the man has a vagina.
    I have had two surgeries to help me assimilate and be a woman but I will not have the final surgery as long as I have a FTM husband.
    You can think I am a woman and call me such due to the fact that I have a penis (sans testicles) but when I make love with my husband I know I am being seen and loved like a woman should. And I can do it without a vagina between my legs. When I go to the markets the groccer see’s a woman. And he treats me no diferant than any other woman.
    Society sees a woman. Society affords me the respect a woman is due. And my husband loves me as a woman in a way that only an FTM husband can love a MTF wife. I know my husband sees me as a woman as certainly as I know he is a man. I know deeply the reality of GID.

    • Suzan Says:

      GID is a fiction created in 1980. The APA pathologizes for profit.

      It is part of a misogynistic game that the APA plays see: They Say You’re Crazy: How The World’s Most Powerful Psychiatrists Decide Who’s Normal by Paula J. Caplan

      BTW there probably is no god.

  7. Jami Bantry Says:

    I self-identify as a Human Being, first and foremost. A Human Being in Constant Evolution. Whatever other label anyone wants to apply to me is not appropriate, and I do not even recognize such.

    Labels are for cans, boxes and bottles to describe the contents therein. How can anyone label ANY Human Being, who is so unique, and constantly changing, from moment to moment, to describe the “contents therein?” IMHO, no one can, nor does anyone have that right.

    What about Human Beings, like myself and like so many others, who have personal feelings with a drive to move them into another “phase” of Life, via surgery of whatever sort, but however cannot because of major health impediments?

    I have 2 major health issues which, for the almost the last 5 years have caused my platelet levels to be consistently abnormally low. I can have NO major surgeries of ANY kind. I would bleed to death on the table. Recently, I had to have 2 units of platelets transfused just so they could perform a biopsy, and it was NOT major surgery.

    Despite the fact that I had (and still have) the financial resources to surgically alter my body, I cannot.

    Does that move me from the “label” of Human Being to the “label” of transgender?

    Just curious.

    jami banty

    • Suzan Says:

      Jami, I’m not one of the Transgender Borg Collective, I don’t mop up everyone I can possible label as transgender for any reason and call them transgender.

      I see transgender as a political identity/label more than something with any real coherent meaning.

      You get to apply it to yourself or not. Transsexual is more determined by actions than anything else, not “identity”.

      As for your being “human”. Being human is the main reason I support the rights of some groups I totally disagree with.

      Except those who kill endangered species or destroy the natural environment many of them should be processed into food to feed those endangered species. For example I consider Grizzlies more valuable than any human who invades their space and gets killed by them. Same is true for tigers. Anyone trading in tiger parts should be fed to them.

  8. Jami Bantry Says:

    @ Susan:

    >As for your being “human”. Being human is the main reason I support the rights of some groups I totally disagree with.<

    The rights of what specific groups do you support that you totally disagree with?

    Are you able to generally (or specifically) able to list them? Please share.

    jami bantry

    • Suzan Says:

      Republicans, Fundie Christians… I think you get the drift… I don’t want to be ruled by them and I think they have shit for brains but I also think they should have the same rights I have… It’s that ACLU standard. Equality means Equality. Human rights mean human rights unless your idea of your human rights entails the oppressing of others in which case the human rights of the group that you want to oppres include not having their equality infringed upon.

  9. Jami Bantry Says:

    @ Susan,

    >Republicans, Fundie Christians… I think you get the drift… I don’t… want to be ruled by them… they should have the same rights I have… Equality means Equality. Human rights mean human rights unless your idea of your human rights entails the oppressing of others…<.

    I agree with you on that.

    IMHO, everyone has a right to feelings and opinions, so long as acting upon those feelings and opinions do not harm other Human Beings.

    jami bantry

  10. Dana Lane Taylor Says:

    Message to Christan. I could give a rat’s ass about the history of transgender. I just look how it currently is and that is enough for me. Let me guess, I need to show you proof of that.

    Great article, Suzan.


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