I was pretty clueless many years ago when I was facing the operation that would change not only my sex but my life forever.
I think no matter how well prepared someone is for the impact SRS will have on their lives, few can really imagine what it will be like several years after all the healing is done.
For one thing I was in love with a guy named Jerry, we lived in Berkeley. We considered ourselves outlaws because he was a deserter. Neither of us counted on how much my being pre-op helped foster a co-dependent relationship or that getting SRS would result in my suddenly feeling freedom I had never known prior to surgery, or my wanting to try my wings.
I hadn’t recognized that I was so feminist because I liked the company of women much better than the company of men, or how that would lead to my coming out as a lesbian feminist. One of the women at the Lesbian Tide asked me how come lesbian post-transsexuals are always “lesbian feminists” and not just lesbians or feminists. I said, “I don’t know, I was feminist for years before I came out as lesbian.”
But there was one thing I knew before I had sex reassignment surgery, most transsexuals knew back then. Surgery makes it real. We knew we were different from the queens even though many of us were friendly with certain queens aka transgender people.
We all saw some queen or other get right to the point of SRS and decide that surgery wasn’t for them. Including people who had already been prepped for surgery saying no at the last possible moment.
Some lived as women for years and reverted to manhood in middle age when they were no longer young and pretty. Or when they realized there was more opportunity for fey gay men than for transgender women.
So we got our sex change operations and realized it often meant at least two surgeries or more with implants and facial feminization surgery but we eventually got through the process.
Maybe we hung out around the bars and old friends for a while. But they weren’t excited about our getting straight jobs or going back to school. They stayed in the same old spot, the bars, the corners, the stroll, doing the same drugs and looking more and more like a dead end.
We soon learned that in trans-bars the transgender folks aka queens would objectify us, place us on pedestals and tell us how they looked up to us and wanted to be like us. All the while they would continue the same sorts of self destructive behavior that insured most would never leave the ghetto.
Now the myth is that the doctors told us we shouldn’t associate with other “trans-folks”, but that is one of those false myths. Many of us have sisters and brothers who are life long friends. The reality is that we told each other there was no future in hanging out in Trans-World.
Now there were always those who were so trapped in that world that they never left, but for many of us the sex change operation cut the ties that bound us to that world.
Things change when you are no longer transsexual. While there might be some problems with fine points of legal aspects of marriage, even those are mostly when something is contested.
The connection fades as it should if you got sex reassignment surgery to be an ordinary woman or man. It is only logical since the surgery makes you part of the world of non-transgender people and removes that which made you part of the transgender Community.
Post-transsexuals leaving the ghetto of the Transgender Borg Cult is about growth more than separatism, especially when that separatism implies some sort of snotty, “You think you are better than us”, dig aimed at forcing us to explain or apologize.
Supposedly at some mythic point in the past which I have never been able to locate but which was more likely found in the Tri-ESS/IFGE portion of “Transgender History” than the queen/transsexual portion I was part of, there was supposedly a “Transgender World of Peace and Harmony”.
I seriously doubt this utopia ever existed.
What has happened since the emergence of the Transgender Movement in the mid-1990s has been a concerted effort to erase not only the history of transsexual people but the very word transsexual, hence the refusal to use TS/TG or transgender and transsexual. It is like the misogynistic presumption that “he” is the proper pronoun for usage as the generic pronoun when addressing mixed sex groups.
Post-Transsexual women and men dissenting from the transgender Cult doctrine of “We are all Transgender and part of the Transgender Community” have been vilified ever since the creation of the “Transgender Community” in the 1990s. Now some may argue the Transgender community existed earlier, but one might well have missed it had one not subscribed to Transgender Tapestry.
I was part of the lesbian communities of both San Francisco and Los Angeles and I remember the fights within the Lesbian Communities. I remember how AIDS devastated the Gay Male community. I miss friends who died from AIDS but I don’t much remember there being any sort of Transgender Community that was part of that world, unless you count the few scattered rap groups.
It is truly amazing how well post-transsexual women got along with their lives in the days before we had the Transgender Cult to abuse us.
Why back then other than an occasional feces hurling by some right wing religious fanatic or one of the minority of lesbian and/or feminist anti transsexual bigots we were mostly treated pretty damn well.
I can’t imagine how we got along without having an entire community of self appointed transgender hurling verbal feces at us on a regular basis.
Gee I went into therapy because physical and verbal abuse as a child left me damaged with a tendency to get into abusive relationships as an adult. Along the way I learned some warning signs of abusive relationships. The relationship that post-transsexual women, and I guess post-transsexual men, have with the Transgender Cult definitely falls in the category of verbally and emotionally abusive.
The transgender cult like any abuser has this great act of being the “Wronged One”. They can’t help themselves, we post-transsexual folks are evil people who force them to abuse us.
I know describing the dynamics in these terms makes the Transgender Cult sound sick and ugly, after all no one, especially an abuser likes to be called on their abuse.
But it is more than the sort of abuse one finds in a one to one personal relationship, because the “Transgender Community” is like a cult where everyone has the same sort of group-think and even the exact same rhetoric. I can practically complete the posts of any transgender community member outraged about anything I have ever said about how transsexual and transgender are two different things.
What I find so strange is how all the hateful abusive things people in the Transgender Cult say sounds exactly like the shit the “Radical Feminists” spew. Sometime I find myself wondering if the “on-line Radical Feminists” are really members of the Transgender Cult or if the Transgender Cult consists of “Radical Feminists” fantasy role playing Transgender Cult members in the wonderful world of the Internet.
Abusive is as abusive does and nearly forty years ago I got a sex change operation to make sure I never had to live in the ghetto. Not that I lived in one during transition.
And Yeah we were right about the surgery making it real and if that bothers you and you feel compelled to spew something hateful and abusive please try to come up with something new.
Repeating cult talking points only makes me think you are too stupid and uncreative to compose original hate mail.
In the mean time ask yourselves, “Why the fuck should post-transsexuals support a cult filled with abusive shits who are constantly dissing and abusing post-transsexual women?”
And yes we have pushed back and said some mean shit. Abused women do that. Get used to it… It’s our way of defending ourselves from abuse
Maybe the problem isn’t us. Maybe the problem is you. Maybe we should just sign the final divorce papers. On Facebook some sisters are already talking about defriending all the members and supporters of the Transgender Borg Cult.
As for me I have a bunch of other causes. Perhaps I’ll make a donation to Sea Shepherd in your name.
From Common Dreams: http://www.commondreams.org/headline/2011/05/27-5
Citizens United applied only to corporate spending on campaigning by independent groups — not to direct contributions to the candidates themselves
Published on Friday, May 27, 2011 by the Associated Press
ALEXANDRIA, Va. — A judge has ruled that the campaign-finance law banning corporations from making contributions to federal candidates is unconstitutional, citing the Supreme Court’s landmark Citizens United decision last year in his analysis.
In a ruling issued late Thursday, U.S. District Judge James Cacheris tossed out part of an indictment against two men accused of illegally reimbursing donors to Hillary Clinton’s Senate and presidential campaigns.
Cacheris says that under the Citizens United decision, corporations enjoy the same rights as individuals to contribute to campaigns.
The ruling from the federal judge in Virginia is the first of its kind. The Citizens United case had applied only to corporate spending on campaigning by independent groups, like ads run by third parties to favor one side, not to direct contributions to the candidates themselves.
Continue reading at: http://www.commondreams.org/headline/2011/05/27-5