Somebody to Love

There is another big fantasy that transkids growing up alone and often physically, emotionally or sexually abused have.

Particularly when all the name calling and abuse leaves them so hurt and lonely that they feel they will never find someone to love them.

That is the fantasy of having someone to love.

One of the crueler numbers run on LGBT/TQ people is that we do not deserve the same right to love. That some how our relationships are less worthy of honoring than those of straight people.

One of the cruelest of bullshit games run on post-SRS women and men is the gotcha game that results in their not being able to enter into a heterosexual marriage.  If straight people do not have every record of their lives, every chromosome in their bodies subjected to scrutiny with the stipulation that if one “T” is found to not be crossed, one “I” not dotted than everything is void then neither should TS/TG people.

Our relationships and ability to have someone to love, our ability to enjoy a life secure in the awareness that our relationships will not be considered null and void because we have been surgically reassigned to a different sex than we were assigned at birth.

Observation Regarding Fantasies

Between all the perversifying of the “fantasies” held by women born with transsexualism Bailey, Blanchard et. al. seem to have missed a big one.  Fantasizing about being normal and ordinary.

About 10 years ago I was in dire poverty and loneliness.

I used to have fantasies, but they weren’t stoked by pornographic magazine running the gamut from say Playboy to Vogue.

I used to have fantasies about models I saw in the Eddie Bauer Catalog and the Ikea Catalog.

The sort that included a relationship with someone, we would both dress like the models in the catalog with jeans, sweaters/blazers, etc.  Have decent jobs, like movies and museums and no drinking problems.  We would live in a nice loft with artist, not lawyers or stock brokers as neighbors, furnished in Ikea.  There wouldn’t be whole lots of anxiety about coming up with the rent or mortgage payment.

Bailey and Blanchard with all their bullshit and dirty minds can only imagine that transsexual and transgender people have excessively erotic fantasies.  Never romantic ones.  Never fantasies of ordinary happy lives with less trauma and drama than so many of us experience.

Of course it is hard to perversify someone’s fantasies, especially if those fantasies are about living free from physical, emotional and economic violence.  Especially when the person fantasizing being part of the lifestyle offered by these solidly middle class, albeit hip middle class retailers is often times the victim of all sorts of violence.

Study: Female sexual fluidity

From 365 Gay

By Celeste Lavin,
08.09.2010 8:30am EDT

Many researchers who studied the concept of “late-life lesbianism” had previously concluded that these women had always been gay, but weren’t comfortable coming out until they were older, reports NPR.

A new study led University of Utah professor Lisa Diamond to suggest that this is not the case.

Diamond tracked a group of 79 women for 15 years; most of the women said they became attracted to women when they were in their late thirties.

From these women, Diamond has found that in fact these late-life lesbians had not in fact always been attracted to other women.

“It does appear to be that women’s erotic desires are pretty tightly linked to their emotional feelings. And so for some of these women, they authentically did not really feel attracted to women before they met one particular woman that they completely fell in love with,” said Diamond.

She added, “I think it’s hard to know whether that capacity actually becomes stronger over time. Probably what’s a safer conclusion to draw is that as time goes on, women have more opportunities to discover that capacity.”

Diamond said that in aging, women become more open-minded, meet more people and have a wider range of experiences, which can “create a context in which a woman might have always had that capacity to become attracted to women, but might never have had the opportunity until she reaches a certain stage in her life.”

Some opponents to same-sex marriage have sited Diamond’s research as evidence that sexuality is a choice, but Diamond said that is not the right conclusion to draw from her work.

“The problem there is the mistaken conflation of change with choice. The women that I have studied who have had these experiences did not experience them as chosen at all. So the idea that it’s chosen is really the mistake there,” said Diamond.

Diamond said the women were more confused than upset by their new feelings, and most of them said the experience was very satisfying. Diamond said, “Women would say, I don’t know what’s going on but, oh, I love this woman.”

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No Gods, No Masters

Denis Diderot said, “Man will never be free until the last king is strangled with the entrails of the last priest.”

Once upon a time we Americans staged a revolution against the Crown.  Yet over the years we have retained the idea of royalty through inherited wealth and class.

This leads to some stupid thinking and expectations.  One of the stupidest is that we expect the siblings and children of wonderful leaders and great humanitarians to inherit those or share those same traits.

Thus we are surprised when a child of Martin Luther King Jr. turned out to be a bigoted asshole and Bible thumping Christo-Fascist like Alveda King.

The is monkey brain thinking. Good politics, a desire for social justice, the humanitarian instinct are sentiments one learns.  Fundie  Churches of any stripe do not teach those values. Instead they teach dogmatic hatred and bigotry.

The only reason for giving Alveda King any greater credibility than Porno Pig Pete LaBarbara is the fact she is related to MLK.  That is a piss poor reason to give anyone credibility.

People earn credibility, it is not genetic.

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