Professionals Must Recognize and Stop Anti-Gay Bullying

August 2, 2010, Relationships
Anti-Gay Bullying is Wrong and Adults Must Stop It.
Published on August 2, 2010

“You shouldn’t have to be a hero to make it through adolescence.”
(Youth advocate quoted in Drifting Toward Love by Kai Wright.)

All stories have a beginning. Most of the 65 young respondents I interviewed for the book: Coming Out, Coming Home: Helping Families Adjust to a Gay or Lesbian Child (, described the realization that they had same-sex attractions as a slow dawning coupled with a nagging realization that something was wrong–very wrong, with the way they felt. They understood that if their peers or their parents discovered their sexual feelings, they risked becoming objects of rejection and abuse.

Unfortunately, for some of these kids, their peers figured out what was up. Adolescents are hawk-eyed guardians of the status quo, harshly punishing those whose behavior falls outside of society’s narrow gender norms–and for some of the unlucky respondents in my study who inadvertently revealed cross-gendered behavior, the consequences were brutal.

Once I hit middle school I think really other kids figured out before I did.
I used to get picked on for being gay all the time and I didn’t know what it
meant. . . .I wasn’t the most masculine kid (Recalled by a twenty-one-year-old gay man).

I got beat up a lot. I didn’t have many friends, they were kind of put off.
A lot of the guys would pick on me. . . . They would call me dyke and beat
me up (Twenty-year-old lesbian).

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3 Responses to “Professionals Must Recognize and Stop Anti-Gay Bullying”

  1. Anna Says:

    Transphobic bullying starts earlier (often at first interaction with other children) and is far more intense and remorseless. So why is it almost only the bullying of gay and lesbian pupils that is featured? Could it be that the authors are so transphobic themselves that they assume transsexual children are simply homosexual?

  2. Andrea B Says:

    Most of the worst cases of bullying are transsexual children.

    The LGB know that and invisibilise them as gay to build up there own case.

    They are transphobic and wallow in their transphobia.

  3. tinagrrl Says:

    At least here in the USA, little boys who are “girly”, who are “sensitive”, are called sissies. We are assumed to be gay.

    If we think we are, or should be girls, we are often told to stop being foolish — “be a man”, etc., etc., etc. We are told to STFU. It’s bad enough to be gay, but anything else…………..!

    I suspect it’s easier for parents, school administrators, teachers, etc., to look at these little boys (it’s usually not a girl when kids are this young) and think — “look at that little faggot, he’s going to grow up to be a cocksucker”.

    No one wants to even THINK the kid might be transsexual, they’re just beginning to get their brains around gay and lesbian — trans of any kind is a bit much for these “educators” to comprehend — even though an untold number might just be crossdressers.

    Oh yeah, that’s another reason to totally avoid any sort of trans-prefixed word — eeeeek!

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