Who knows Why?

By Tina

I am one of those “changelings”, MtF post-op transsexual, to be exact.

I had spent most of my life both denying and avoiding  —  no, no, no, that’s not REALLY me, THAT’S NOT ME!  —  NO!

As the defenses slowly fell.  As I found myself ready to repeat my dysfunctional relationship dance once again  —  it struck me  —  I was the only constant.  I was the one part of all the relationships that was the same.  It wasn’t the fault of any of my wives or girlfriends  —  it was me.

At that point I decided to end the dance, to sit out a tune or two (or three).

Soon afterward, all those repressed feelings began to surface  —  again.  Time after time, I’d attempted to hide  —  from myself, from others, from the world.

This idea I was born, somehow, wrong.  Born a mistake.  As a child I was sure I would grow up to be just like my girl cousins  —  they told me, again and again, I would not.  All the adults told me I was a boy.

Etc., etc., etc., etc.

When I finally began to accept myself  —  I looked for a reason.  There had to be a reason.  It just wasn’t logical, it didn’t make sense.

I looked for physical clues  —  how my body was formed, how I grew.  Clues from my youth  —  there just HAD to be a reason.  I’d never liked boys.  Though told I was sterile by Doctor after Doctor, I ended up having two kids.

I thought that odd.

Anyway, is spite of all that  —  I came out, transitioned, had SRS, and am over the need for a “rational” reason.

I think an awful lot of late transitioners end up looking for a REASON.  They want to know WHY?  WHY?  They were adult males who gave in to this need, this overwhelming drive  —  it often becomes “change or die”.

I think it takes time to reach a point where “why” no longer matters.  A point where it just IS.  A point where I’m actually happy to just be happy, to just be me.

If there is a reason  —  I leave that to others.  Let them agonize, do analysis, do their various tests.  I’m just happy that I’m at peace.  I’m happy my mind and body are in “synch”.

That’s enough.

If The Shoe Fits

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Alternative Medicine or Quackery?

Over the last year this blog has cast a seriously skeptical eye on the proliferation of highly dubious claims by people with transsexualism or transgenderism to being physically intersex rather than TS or TG.

The examination of these claims to improbable intersex conditions was prompted by things we were reading on a mailing list that was founded with the purpose of removing GID from the DSM.  We were going WTF? WTF? Particularly, considering  the majority of these claims were not coming from kids who might have exhibited a physical appearance that would have caused someone  looking  at them, even as they were dressed as boy. and say, “My that kid looks more like a girl than a boy”.  Kids whose bodily build would indicate a failure to masculinize.

Instead, the bulk of these claims were coming from transsexual or transgender people who had fathered children.  In some cases these  people were also claiming they were physically disabled and therefore could not actually transition.  Nonetheless they were real women and those of us who did not join them in these claims of intersex no matter how improbable, were not.

We are seriously concerned that this proliferation of dubious claims of intersex conditions by all these people who were and are transsexual could be used to hinder the effort many of us are exerting to remove GID from the DSM.  After all we are in the unfortunate position of having to prove our sanity, something that is difficult enough for a stigmatized class of people to accomplish.  One of the major charges against us is that we are delusional, detached from reality, perhaps even psychotic.  Another charge is that we are compulsive liars, incapable of telling the truth or perhaps in even recognizing it due to our detachment from reality.

Several of us have been on line friends for years now.  We have seen the vicious results of the frauds with many names who burned not only us but respected researchers.  I speak of Kiirea Tirea and Cheryl Chase as well as their many sock puppets who taught us to question the often carefully researched claims of obscure and exceedingly rare conditions.  Particularly since these very same individuals were also engaged in supporting Bailey, Blanchard, Lawrence, Zucker et.al..

Often times the same people making these bizarre claims to improbable if not impossibly contradictory forms of intersex are the very people most actively engaged in attacking transsexual and transgender people as perverts and “men in dresses”.  It doesn’t take a degree in psychiatry to see the internalized transphobia on the part of these individuals.

Some of these same individuals regularly push HBS as a replacement for transsexualism and claim membership in an elite group of “classic transsexuals”.

Oddly enough even though our exposing of the dubious nature of these bizarre claims of improbable intersex conditions was not originally aimed at specific individuals beyond Tirea and Chase as well as the people on GID Reform, various people acted like the cinematic vampires who are suddenly exposed to sun light.

Zoe, a resident of New Zealand, who seems to spend some 18 hours a day on line posting her claims everywhere and anywhere has been one of these vampires, accidentally caught in the sunlight when people on this blog mainly myself and Andrea Brown pierced the cloak of self serving deceit.  We were not initially focused upon her but her claims of spontaneous mid-life change of sex challenge anyone with any real knowledge of the conditions she cites.  Yes it is true fish do change sex in at least certain species.  And yes there is a small group of people with a hormone processing defect that delays physical masculinization until the onset of puberty.

But this does not make what Zoe states terribly credible.  Zoe is transsexual and has a great deal of internalized transphobia this causes her to have to justify being transsexual with an elaborate web of contradictory claims to being intersex.

Her basic impulse is to not own up to her dishonesty but to try piling on more BS.  This cause her to become more and more like Tirea and Chase.  She uses someone,  as an assistant, M. Italiano, MB BS (AM) Board Certified in Alternative Medicine (India) in an attempt to discredit Andrea.

Neither Andrea or myself are angry about having been operated upon as infants.  Because we are just plain old fashioned women who were born with transsexualism.  The person claiming we are angry because of having been mistreated as infants is confusing us with Tirea or with Chase.

But back to Italiano, Certified in Alternative Medicine means exactly nothing.

I am a stone Atheist. No god, no spiritual crap either.  No crystal healing, no aroma therapy.  I am as skeptical regarding all the new age “ancient wisdom of the east” as I am the pope and all other forms of religion.

Even Italiano’s description of premarin as a synthetic hormone belies a level of ignorance that is staggering.  Many of the objections to premarin are not due to its being synthetic (it isn’t as it is extracted from the urine of pregnant mares) but rather due to the level of animal abuse required to obtain it when ethinyl estradiol can be synthesized in a laboratory.

There are numerous sites and books that raise serious doubts regarding almost every form of “alternative medicine”.  Scientific research has failed to validate the claims of nearly every form of “alternative medicine” and label it of questionable if of any value.

http://skepdic.com/tialtmed.html is one such site Google will give numerous other sites debunking “alternative medicine”.

The fact remains that the people who currently seem to be the most upset were not the original targets.  But since they seem to think the shoe fits.  So be it.