Why I Support Same Sex Marriage and Thoughts on Sisters Who Do Not

When I listen to the crap coming from the mouths of some of my right wing heterosexual Post-SRS “sisters” regarding marriage equality I am forced to question the powerfulness of sisterhood.

First of all marriage equality isn’t about “gay marriage” even calling it that removes lesbians from the equation.  The proper term is same sex marriage.  “Gay Marriage” is the preferred usage of Taliban Christers and rabid right wing assholes.

Now mind you that something like 2/3 of post-SRS women are lesbian or bisexual in orientation so marriage equality is an important issue for us.  Especially now that the economics and class realities have made it harder for throwaway urchins like me who found the downward mobility elevator stopping at the floor marked lumpen proles to actually get SRS.

A lot of people who were my peers and got SRS at the same time I did were able to do so because it was cheap and it was also possible to live on air as rents were cheap and so were other costs of living.  Class privilege plays a role in whether one is able to get SRS or not these days.  So marriage equality makes heterogendered but technically same sex marriage possible and that makes it economically easier for some to get their SRS. Especially considering the strangeness of corporate for profit medical care rationing programs allowing spousal coverage for only married couples.

Marriage equality insures that existing marriages entered into before one comes out are in no way threatened, either before or after the fact.

But the oddest of all, the most Kool Aid chugging of arguments is that marriage equality would make the marriage of a sister to a man into a “gay marriage”.  To which I say, only if your peers are right wing Taliban Christers.  But then if they know your history they aready think of you in the same terms as the queens who show up on Jerry Springer to brawl for the edification of tabloid TV watchers.

The venomous homophobia spewed by some sisters is up there with that spewed by Ted Haggard and Larry Craig as well as a number of other rabid right wing closet cases before their being exposed by folks like Mike Rogers.  It speaks volumes more about your own insecurities than of your sense of femaleness.

The secure position is indifference not turning into a hate spewing Ann Coulter doll filling the room with epithets every time some one yanks your string.

The secure position is realizing that your rights are not based on the oppressing of others.

Marriage equality does not threaten my sureness in my being female.

6 Responses to “Why I Support Same Sex Marriage and Thoughts on Sisters Who Do Not”

  1. karen A Says:

    Same Sex marriage is not a TS specific issue, it’s a human rights issue. The sex on the partners is a religious issue and should not be a legal one.

    In terms of TSes if we are legally recognized as the ‘new’ sex pst op, then a het post-op marriage is actually unaffected by whatever the status of same sex marriage may be … and should be supported as a human rights issue

    If we are not recognized as the ‘new’ sex, then in those jurisdictions a post op het marriage would not be recognized at all.

    So even if it was managed because of stealth , legally it’s not valid as long as same sex marriages are not legal in that jurisdiction. That means until the new fully legally accepted in that jurisdiction, self interest should dictate support for same sex marriage, just in case. See it otherwise is a sign of insecurity in who they are I think.

    Existing marriages remaining legal does not and should not depend on same sex marriage legal status AND should not depend on the legal sex of the post-op. Marriage is contract. If the contract is entered into legally it should remain in force unless contested by ether of the couple. That is contract law and makes sense and is what is most fair to the non TS spouse. If that spouse wants to contest the marriage because of the sex change they will certainly win. I they want to stay married it is simply unfair to prevent that because of how much marriage intertwines two live both financially and emotionally. Other important life choices are made because of marriage that can not be easily reversed for may reasons after awhile.

    – karen

    • Suzan Says:

      In terms of TSes if we are legally recognized as the ‘new’ sex pst op, then a het post-op marriage is actually unaffected by whatever the status of same sex marriage may be … and should be supported as a human rights issue.

      I’m starting to make it a policy of not supporting the privilege of people who do not support my equality.

  2. karen A Says:

    FWIW I meant

    … and same sex marriage should be supported as a human rights issue.

    My missing words and typos are getting worst with age! 😉

    Hopefully my point was clear anyway.

    That point was that IMO there is no good reason for a TS to NOT support same sex marriage, even if they are in a post-op het marriage. Legal recognition as the “new” sex and same sex marriage are unrelated issues.

    Not doing so because it would make their marriage “homosexual” is not based on reason but on insecurity… when in fact if the law was changed no one would have a a financial motive to ever challenge their marriage or their sex. Not insurance companies and not the spouse’s family.

    – karen

  3. Suzan Says:

    My dearest Karen,

    You have come a hundred million miles in the last 13 years we’ve known each other.

    And to think so much of that started when you went to the MWMF.

    Biggest of hugs, sister.

  4. karen A Says:

    I always felt the same way about that, but since my staying married was being challenged way back when by you and others, existing marriages are what my arguments focused on.

    I have always been a liberal… Even when you were a conservative there for a little while! 😉

    – Karen

  5. Suzan Says:

    “I have always been a liberal… Even when you were a conservative there for a little while! ;)”
    – Karen

    Things got weird for a while when I first got sober. I felt I had to renounce all my beliefs along with the booze and take up the ultra straight and narrow. I even tried finding Jesus for a while.

    9/11 didn’t help. My cousin, Tina and I all knew some one even if only in passing who died that day.

    Then when I went back east to live I accidentally found myself at the hole in the ground after avoiding the place for several months> It was sort of the way Pearl Harbor caused the over reaction that put Japanese Americans in prison camps.

    But as time wore on I moved back to my political and ethical roots which are sort of crazy anarchist left and hippie.

    As it is now Obama is too conservative for me.


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