The Terrible Bargain We Have Regretfully Struck

From Shakesville

This is a really good post on the nature of misogyny and how people try to suck women into taking misogynistic positions themselves.

I’ve been thinking about this one a lot lately particularly in terms of relating to certain people in the TG Activist camp. Why should I allow the fact that certain TG activists piss me off move me into a place where I condemn all TGs when there are other TG activists I find I am often in agreement with.

This has meant exploring the nature of prejudice. I wish I still had a copy of Gordon Alport’s book that I read way back in college.

| posted by Melissa McEwan | Friday, August 14, 2009

Despite feminists’ reputation, and contra my own individual reputation cultivated over five years of public opinion-making, I am not a man-hater.

If I played by misogynists’ rules, specifically the one that dictates it only takes one woman doing one Mean or Duplicitous or Disrespectful or Unlawful or otherwise Bad Thing to justify hatred of all women, I would have plenty of justification for hating men, if I were inclined to do that sort of thing.

Most of my threatening hate mail comes from men. The most unrelentingly trouble-making trolls have always been men. I’ve been cat-called and cow-called from moving vehicles countless times, and subjected to other forms of street harassment, and sexually harassed at work, always by men. I have been sexually assaulted—if one includes rape, attempted rape, unsolicited touching of breasts, buttocks, and/or genitals, nonconsensual frottage on public transportation, and flashing—by dozens of people during my lifetime, some known to me, some strangers, all men.

But I don’t hate men, because I play by different rules. In fact, there are men in this world whom I love quite a lot.

There are also individual men in this world I would say I probably hate, or something close, men who I hold in unfathomable contempt, but it is not because they are men.

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One Response to “The Terrible Bargain We Have Regretfully Struck”

  1. catkisser Says:

    and I took away exactly how the divide is essentially about the difference between men and women regarding ourselves and TGs…….

    but then I’ve had some pretty horrid experiences with TGs and still like some of them myself……same with men. Like the author, I have a very hard time trusting any man or TG as a result.

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