When a Queen dies

The first girl I fell head over heels in love with was a Cuban American queen named Stephanie.

We met in 1973 one night at a really scummy drag bar on Cahuenga Ave called the Speak.  Upon meeting me she told me that the Speak was a drag bar for queens not women.  I told her I was a sex change and she wanted to see.

We took a quick trip to one of the skankiest ladies rooms I’ve ever been in where we got to know each other  by her hand balling me and making out standing in a stall .

Alas… she had so many problems..

Parents who paid her to stay away and a huge drug problem.

She was a downtown girl Quaalude, Placidil, Seconal Tuinol.  Right from the start she was dancing with death.  I joined a circle of friend some were support and other with nearly as big drug problems were enablers.

Too much pain and the in ability to say that it doesn’t mean shit.

Like Michael Jackson had more doctors than I could imagine having.  I had a couple of Doctor Feelgoods I could count on to help me stay skinny and on the bounce as well as able to crash but maybe I had a better sense of where the borders were or some greater purpose in life.

Stephanie over dosed on Valentine’s Day 1974.  Over the years I saw the pattern repeat itself so many times I learned to avoid sisters with downer addictions.

I wasn’t surprised to see the CSI people coming out with bags of scripts.

I wasn’t surprised to hear he weighed 112 pounds.  Anorexia, bulimia and obesity are common partners of the pill abuse as is cutting.

Sometimes when I hear the horror stories about all the murders I shake my head because in my circle of friend death by ‘accidental” overdose was more common.

As I’ve gotten older other friend some of whom have cleaned up are still dying because of the after effects and continued dabbling.

I’m 20 years drug free and over 8 alcohol free.

I’m not saying Michael Jackson was transgender or transsexual just that he showed some similar problems including disconnect from the real world and withdrawl into Neverland.

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