Nerissa Belcher made a comment on “Pathologizing our partners” that bugged me on several levels but mostly for the assumptions she made.
First let me get a major sticking point out of the way “bio-gals and GGs” are politically unacceptable terms on this list. I use WBT for post-SRS sisters and WBF or women born female for natal women. Cradle women or natal women are aslo better terms that tend to keep the playing field level.
Over some 40 years or so I have seen us had being straight, lesbian, bisexual and asexual with a few into various kink.
One of the most dickwad heterosexist assumptions is that women who are lesbians are that way because they can not get a man. This assumse that all men are somehow more attractive than all women and that one would have to be some sort of loser to not have a relationship with a man.
Or that we opt for a relationship with a sister because we are such losers that we can’t get a “bio-gal”. That train of thought shows a serious lack of self worth. Over the years I have found that many of my sisters are some of the brightest most charming women I have ever had the pleasure of meeting.
Further the idea we are losers because we associate with sister or that we live in the imaginary “transghetto” because of that is another false assumption since our involvement might only consist of a couple of phone calls every month or so, perhaps a once a year get together and an on line presence.
But then too the fact that there are some super cool, brilliant sister out ther with the same skewed sense of the absurd is reason enough for those sorts of friendships.
Indeed when these assumptions get put together they seem like some gender therapist’s prescription aimed at insuring a returning clientele that feels crappy about themselves, alone and isolated etc.
Integrating into post-SRS life has only one real rule and that is to say fuck off to anyone’s list of assumptions and rule that you are supposed to follow. Or the idea that you should feel bad for failing live up to some imaginary set of rules. Screw that idea. Do what is right for you and quit the judgmental bullshit regarding the lives of others. Perhaps they are doing what is right for them.
Over the last 40 years I’ve had sisters get weird on me when I was a radical feminist with a WBF lover. Does this mean you are going to go back?
I had a couple call a Sansei Japanese American man I was seeing a gook.
Call me a “nigger lover” when I had a relationship with a black man
And all sorts of weird names when I was in a relationship with a Cuban American transgender sister.
The real pisser is that a couple of these judgmental assholes never had a relationship that was anything more than a casual date with sex and I had passionate relationships that lasted for months and sometimes longer.
I have been in a committed relationship with Tina that started on-line and on the phone since the start of 2001 and we have physically been together since 2002.