Things Not to Say to a Former Transkid #2

Gee…  You are really pretty.  It must be because you came out young.

For one thing that is sort of reversing cause and effect.  But not every one who comes out young is pretty.

But lets go back to those of us who were in 1960s trannie argot “natural beauty wonders”.

When people talk about the restroom issues they always assume those issues are about the “man in a dress” using the women’s room.

But for a lot of transkids the issue was not being able to use the men’s room without fear of being attacked, beaten up or arrested on the assumption we were in there trolling for sex.  Using the men’s room invariably meant getting hit on.

For some of us our appearence marked us as teen queens even as pre-teens and subjected us to “gay bashings” from an early age.

We were often driven from school by bullying and never performed up to our potential.  We were often throwaway kids.

Being pretty and looking like girls without trying was often more a reason for coming out young than a result of coming out young.

I used to say,  “I’m not gender confused, I cause gender confusion.”

People didn’t know how to react.

It was easier for me to be a girl than for me to be a boy.

5 Responses to “Things Not to Say to a Former Transkid #2”

  1. Sarah Says:

    Prepuperty yes. But without being a “beauty wonder” i head the bullying too. Its enaugh to have female body language and social instincts.
    > I used to say, “I’m not gender confused, I cause gender confusion.”

    Thats what I say sometimes.

    Another perspective, being sent back to master my life without help when seeking those from german authoritys because of age, I learned to act male When I started chemical hormons I then I finally said no more, I stop acting, two things surprised me.
    1st. I did stop faking bodylanguage and people didn’t react too negative to it.
    2nd. When I changed social role half a year later I got less raised Eyebrows (or control views to the chest area and such) as before.
    Be thankfull that you didn’t have certain proplems, but don’t be to astound that some people cannot or even don’t like to believe it. Movements like HBS trie tell everyone that has not your experience that shes a fake. So when emotions get high its not always about you personally.

  2. Suzan Says:

    I added not everyone who comes out young is a beauty.

    It is the obviousness and inability to hide.

  3. ariablue Says:

    No, movements like HBS try to tell everyone that this is a birth condition, not “lifestyle”. The tranny movement is about freedom of expression, but lately has strayed into dictating terms to society.

    HBS has nothing to do with being a “gender variant” person. You were either born with the condition, or you were not. It is beyond question that this is a physiological phenomenon at this point. Those who deny our identity are spreading lies, not “educating”. This is the very definition of propaganda.

    It is those who want to deny the existence of this condition who are doing the labeling. They label themselves and then get angry with their own labels. What can anyone do about that?

  4. Evangelina Says:

    I caused a lot of confusion as a child and as a young adult in particular. In a shirt a jeans I looked like a dyke. In rest rooms I was constantly making sure I kept my eyes fixed on anything but either what I was doing (to keep my own sanity) or anyone else (to avoid a beating) It was a living nightmare.
    Regards the transgender, I wonder sometimes if it is to do with a “victim” mentality. Some of the TG crowd I don’t have a real problem with, I don’t trust them but they can be honest about their motivation and their situation and they deal with it and I can respect that. There are some and unfortunately they are the most vocal who make unsubstantiated claims about their situation, lie about their motivational source and place the blame for any misfortune on everyone but themselves. I believe that these people actually get some pleasure out of being a “victim”
    I have come across a few transgender people in my day to day life and witnessed how people react to them. I was strictly an observer in this as I have revealed my own “history” to no-one. In their presence people are pleasant and polite enough, however in their absence the conversation has not been pleasant to witness. I am not saying that this behaviour is right I was simply an observer.
    Governments can pass anti discrimination laws and activists can make all the speeches and write all the protesting letters to journals and blogs they like but it will be a long time before people’s attitude and reaction to the spectacle transgender in general create for themselves will change . It is the transgender who must change.

  5. tinagrrl Says:

    Usually the passage of things like a hate crime law follows greater acceptance by the general public. Political folk rarely lead.

    Passage of such laws is a simple sign that society is moving on / has moved on. That does not mean a vocal minority will not continue to agitate.

    Usually, that sort of rabble-rousing just pisses folks off. Most people just do not want to be bothered.

    As far as what folks say behind your back — as long as they are polite to your face, do not discriminate against you — who gives a damn what they say after you’re gone. If they do not treat you “right” – do not patronize their shop, or avoid them (if you can). If they continue — you have the law on your side.

    I usually look at the passage of hate crime and civil rights laws as a sign society has already changed.

    As far as “It is the transgender who must change.” — don’t worry, they all do — they get old. If they are not “career TG’s”, they have to adjust to their changing reality. If they are “career TG’s”, they better have a good gig, or some sort of talent, because their reality will change, and they’d best change with it (some old TG’s actually become old men – heck, when you get old enough, it can be difficult to tell old men from old women).


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