Hole or Pole?

When they sexed me at birth in the same way they pretty much sex the majority of babies they decided I was male based on my having a very small penis.  Even though I had non descended testes there was enough for them to say I was male.  If I had a vagina they would have classified me as female.

As I grew up I came to see myself as being transsexual or having transsexualism.

I was one of that 25% or so of  Dr. Benjamin’s patients that he described as having physical variation that made me physically more feminine than masculine  i.e. I would have given him an erection if he were still capable of achieving one.  Mostly that is a way of saying I was a transkid who couldn’t walk down the street without being attacked for looking more like a girl than a boy.

That didn’t make me a woman, a female or a girl.  It made me a transkid.  A teen queen that the older queens called, “Princess” and said it wasn’t a matter of if I became a girl I would be one of the cutest ones in the ghetto but rather when I decided to do it.

It was my acting that made me first a girl and much later a woman.  Having little knots in my boobs didn’t make me female, adding hormones and the process of development shifted the secondary sexual characteristics from androgynous to feminine.

Those of us in San Francisco circa 1972 knew the difference between those of us who got the operation and those who didn’t.  Aleshia Brevard knew the difference in 1960.

There were differences in our approaches to life.  Often times the queens had a lot more money than we had.  At least to spend because we had to save 4-5000 dollars at a time when most of us were lucky to get straight jobs that paid the two dollar an hour.  Both of our groups did sex work.  We scrimped and saved, the queens bought expensive clothes.

We talked about becoming real and our lives after SRS.  The queens were afraid they wouldn’t have orgasms as intense as those those they had with their penis.

When transgenders think they are being original with their “inverted penis” slur they should be aware they are using the same slur the drag queens used against us 40-50 years ago.

The same slur the coiner of the term transgender used against those of us who got SRS 40-50 years ago.

When I got my operation it made me female using the same criteria as I was initially sexed by.  Pull down the panties and see what’s there.  It was the bigots including the CDs, drag queens, TVs and later transgenders who were first in line with the same sort of hate speech I hear from the religious reich as to why I wasn’t really female.

The only new twist is the post-moderning of woman away from adult female to meaning someone with a whole arsenal of word games.

Now I call people by their chosen name and address them as members of the sex they appear to be, but I’m also a woman and a feminist and that means I put the interests of women first.

We don’t need to be defined as women based on our mode of dress and social role. Woman as adult female serves me and the majority of women just fine.

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