I’m lucky in a way. Because I came out young I have my entire adult history as a woman. That is 40 years in a couple of months. I actually have friends that go back that long.
Until very recently I didn’t have friends that went further back. Writing my memoir caused me to think about some of the people I went to high school with since the last three years I was in school were the best three of any period from Kindergarten through Senior.
I went to a small school in upstate New York. I was a new transkid in school and the bullies immediately picked up on me and started in. But there was also this group of really nice kids who became my friends.
When I left home in 1967 being born with transsexualism was a thing of shame. I cut myself off from all the people I knew.
I recently signed up at Classmates.com using my current name.
One of my classmates contacted me, a very sweet woman who had been especially kind to me. She was a wonderful girl and very kind to me when I was barely managing to keep from committing suicide. She made a difference in my life.
It turns out her mother worked in the school office and handled my request for a change of name and sex on my school records way back in 1970. Her mother told her and swore her to secrecy. So all these years she has wondered as have other people.
We’ve exchanged a couple of letters.
Those who make everything about gender and transgender this, transgender that miss a very important thing. My core sense of self never changed. The trappings of gender might have. What I changed was my body and sex to fit the core of identity. In some ways core sex identity makes more sense to those of us who have sex change operations than gender identity.
Now this may be more true of those who come out young but I suspect it isn’t. I suspect that those who come out later were just a little better at hiding who they really are.