The most important point to remember in all this is that people who claim they are TS/TG and seek out hormones and surgery to change their sex characteristics do so voluntarily. No one forces them to seek out this treatment. If anything the process along with violence and discrimination against TS/TG people should discourage anyone from doing this on a whim.
Before TS/TG Regreters who cut corners, doctor shopped, and lied to therapist who were screening them go and sue doctors for providing them treatment they sought out; they need to do some serious self assessment.
Damned few people people in the vast on line world of actual TS/TG people who live the life really make it sound like some sort of paradise behind the pink or blue door.
If that is what you are finding get the hell off the TV/DC fantasy lists and read what activists are writing about anti-violence and anti-discrimination struggles.
Look in the mirror and see the person responsible for making the decisions regarding transition.
Deciding to transition is like deciding to sky dive, get a major not covered by normal work clothing tattoo, or joining the military decision. It could turn out badly. Cowgirl up/cowboy up: Accept the risks and take responsibility for your own choices.
Don’t fucking cry about how you made a mistake and the doctors or someone else didn’t stop you. That isn’t all that acceptable for some one who plays football and winds up brain damaged, or joins the military and winds up a multiple amputee and it isn’t really acceptable from someone who decides they want sex characteristic altering hormones and surgery.
Sympathy yes, payouts or making getting these procedures harder for everyone else seeking these treatments without your hangups no fucking way.
Further if you later find religion or radical feminism and decide you made a mistake, go into therapy and lose the religion or radical feminism.
Where in hell do you get off with your selfish cry baby behavior. You chose to do this. You fucking own it. It is your fault, not the fault of the doctor. Cowgirl up/cowboy up and take some responsibility for your own decisions.
You aren’t a victim of anyone except yourself.
Further your actions are harming the lives and access to medical care of hundreds of thousands of TS/TG people who do not regret the medical treatments we receive.
A commenter to a previous post named Toni summed it up quite accurately:
Not really… Regret is a self-fulfilling prophecy under the Standards of Care and/or any regime, because SEEDS OF REGRET FLOURISH IN SOIL OF “I didn’t do it the ‘right way’ and ‘they’ failed to protect me.”
Argentina does it right: Need counseling? Get counseling. Need HRT? Get HRT. Need surgery? Get surgery. Need legal name and gender change? Get legal name and gender change. Everything is on you, because you are responsible for every step of transition taken or not taken, and responsibility cuts regret off at the pass.
Basically: no gatekeepers, no one to blame, no problem, no regret.
01/09/2013 at 3:52 pm
Amen. It’s about time that people take responsibility for their choices.
I may have bypassed therapy but that’s because I took the Argentinian approach: I got what I needed and I don’t regret it. Even though I still have a long way to go in my transition (still need voice therapy, I think that’s the one thing that outs me the worst), that’s on me.
But yeah, the WPATH/SOC people lift these irresponsible morons up and say that they are the reason why the SOC needs to be in place. If there were something similar for the field of plastic surgery, they would be holding up the Michael Jacksons of the world who go too far and hurt themselves… which won’t happen because the plastic surgeons would revolt, perhaps claim that the claimant is wrongly libeling their profession and will undoubtedly demand damages.
I think that we need to see some countersuing from these doctors so vilified.
01/09/2013 at 6:42 pm
There’s no shame in the Argentinian way.
I’ve been running the show since my first counseling session. I had came out and asked for a diagnosis of GID. He, my counselor, responded “But that’s a MENTAL ILLNESS… And I don’t think you’re mentally ill. And I don’t think you need ME to write YOU a hall pass to live YOUR life.”
So I imported my meds, came out to everyone, brought my meds to my doctor, demonstrated my knowledge of the risks and benefits, and had him prescribe me as a measure of harm prevention under informed consent. He did it, but I could tell he felt uncomfortable, so I found an informed consent document online, checked all the boxes, signed it, and gave it to him. Been prescribed ever since.
TL;DR: Find a way to have it your way, and don’t let other people stop you.
01/09/2013 at 5:21 pm
Absolutely agree.
01/09/2013 at 6:43 pm
And wow. Who knew my first comment ever to a site would be published? Much obliged, internet!
01/10/2013 at 3:46 am
Reblogged this on Cait.