Above the Cotton Ceiling: The Disparaging of Post-Transsexual Women’s Genitals

Love my love thing, super ride inside my love thing… Laura Nyro

I like my pussy, indeed I love it.

I absolutely hated the things that were there before.

Loathed them.

Didn’t like seeing them.  Didn’t want to touch them.  Certainly didn’t want someone else touching them.  Didn’t want them touched while I was having sex.

Their one saving grace is that they were very small and childlike.  Once I was on hormones they just lay there like the improper little flaps of skin they were.

Fortunately I had a straight lover, who respected my feelings and ignored those inconvenient flaps of skin.

But even before I got my sex change operation I had to listen to people praise the possessing of a penis and disparage post-transsexual women’s cunts.

Sometimes I could sort of understand it, like the time my boyfriend and I overheard a couple of gay guys in a restaurant going on about someone I actually knew from our counseling center.

Of course these gay men who call each other “Mary and Girlfriend” showed their gay wit and wisdom by calling this friend of mine “he” even though she had been living as a woman from the time she was kicked out of her parents house at 15.

These men were laughing and going on about how this ‘silly queen” was going to “get his dick chopped off” and how they couldn’t imagine why anyone would do that just to have a dead fish smelling hole down there.

Now it might be easy to blow off these gay men as being simply dick fixated, since gay men are attracted to other gay men.  Or perhaps bothered by some sort of transphobic fear of somehow being associated with transsexuals.

Oddly enough way back in 1971 transsexual women had pretty much figured out that what separated them from the group that were called “queens” in those days, but would now be called transgenders, was the way queens liked their dicks and didn’t really want to have a pussy between their legs.

Now I know I have a potty mouth and use words like fuck, cunt and pussy rather than the nice polite desexualized  proper words, but I hate the politically correct tendency to sanitize discourse about sex, almost as much as I hate racism and the abuse of the environment.

I’m not into politically correct games of pretend which people wedded to identity politics use in the same deceitful way as the right wing uses the flag and Bible.

I don’t have a problem with transgender people keeping their original equipment and using it. I’ve slept with transgender women friends, both before and after I had SRS . Negotiating  how we would do it and what our personal boundaries were was part of respecting each other and not wanting to leave the other person feeling hurt.

This is something both transsexual and transgender people shouldn’t have a problem understanding, considering the shit we have gone through.

Certain members of the Transgender Borg seem to have missed the lessons on respecting others as you expect to be respected.

Respect is a two way street.  If you don’t want me making snotty comments about your genitals then lose those pet phrases like “vanilla scented choochies” and “inverted penises.”

You are talking about my body in a way that makes you identical to the Reich Wing crazies of the AFA and Focus on the Family.  You could be reading a script from Janice Raymond and the “radical feminist” thugs.

If you don’t want to have sex with me, that’s fine by me as there is a good chance that even when I was young and slutty I might not have wanted to have sex with you.  After all slutty or not I still had standards.

There is a difference between not wanting to have sex with a particular transsexual woman or man and making the disparaging of their post-SRS genitals a part of your political position.

If you do that then don’t be surprised if post-ops fight back.

But there is something else that is even more hurtful than the verbal disparaging of our genitals that macho assholes, gay men, some lesbians, the religious right, and way too many transgender people engage in.

That is having someone who liked us well enough to go to bed with us recoil in horror and express revulsion regarding our genitals.

Transsexuals develop thick skins as a means of survival.  The verbal shit hurts, but we’ve  had to deal with that our entire lives and if you’ve avoided suicide and dealt with the substance abuse, you’ve developed coping mechanisms.

I know a number of sisters who went in the opposite direction than I did. While I got validation and pleasure from promiscuity they have never had sex. Not with a man and not with a woman.

That is how vulnerable this shit makes us.  Some of us are so afraid of someone recoiling from our bodies and physically or verbally abusing us that we shut ourselves off from sexual relationships.

Not that transsexuals on their way to post-transsexualhood have easy roads to navigate.  Those roads are filled with “experts” with clip boards ready to document any sexual activity, arousal or fantasy we might have, to use as a sign of our deep seated perversity.

We’ve had to deal with fear of rejection our entire lives.

Hell many of us have been berated, belittled and disowned by our parents and siblings.  We know rejection.

It is soul crushing.  It is the reason so many of us engage in substance abuse and lead lonely lives.

I was fifteen when I came out to my parents as transsexual.  Two years after being busted for wearing my mother’s clothes.

They found my clippings about April Ashley and the other sisters who worked at Le Carousel.

The told me, “If you do this no one will ever love you or want you. No one, not a normal man or woman, not even a queer man or woman.”

I had a sex change operation for myself.  so that when I touched myself, washed or used the toilet I wouldn’t have a part of my body that felt like a deformity.

Telling me I should accept the body I was born with is be like telling some one with a cleft palate they should have accepted that since that was something they were born with.

Is my cunt as perfect as if I had been born with it?  The answer is obvious.  I had what felt like a major defect repaired through plastic surgery that left me with functioning genitals I feel comfortable with.

They have been part of my body 40 of my 65 years.  They are natural to me and no prettier or uglier than other people’s genitals.

If you recoil from my cunt after having gotten to that point of intimacy it is incredibly hurtful. I would rather you had rejected me from the start. It is easier to be rejected as a person than it is to have thought you liked me enough to sleep with me only to recoil in horror  because you think my cunt would somehow contaminate you with trannie cooties.

I’ve had a lifetime of being dehumanized and objectified.  Oppressed in ways that normborns can’t imagine.

I am not some transsexual goddess with deep insight into the ways of men and what pleases men because I never related to those parts the way men do. I was the transkid who was isolated and abused as a child.

I am not some transsexual monster out to invade and destroy the imaginary solidarity of the sisterhood of lesbian purity.

Life is too short and there are too many people in the world who do not have problems with either my humanity or femaleness for me to want to be part of your abusive Stalinistic cult.  There are too many music festivals where I am welcome. Women’s music festivals who put in their advertising that all women are welcome, including women whose lives have been impacted by various trans-prefixed words.

I have the right to use transsexual to describe my life without that being taken as a sign I have given people a license to bad mouth my cunt.

When I had been post-op for ten years I cooperated with Stanford  and filled out a survey regarding being a long time post-op.  Judy asked me why most of the other sisters refused to return the survey. I said, “Perhaps you would get better results if you didn’t treat us like Replicant escapees from Bladerunner.

We are human beings and our cunts are part of us.

My cunt is not the problem.  Your bigotry is the problem.

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Top Romney aide outed transgender woman in political smear

From Raw Story:   http://www.rawstory.com/rs/2012/05/11/top-romney-aide-outed-transgender-woman-in-political-smear/

By David Ferguson
Friday, May 11, 2012

Eric Fehrnstrom, a top aide and political strategist to presumptive Republican presidential candidate former Gov. Mitt Romney (MA), made headlines earlier this year with a gaffe comparing Romney in the primary fight to an “Etch a Sketch” that you can flip over and shake and start over with as a blank slate in the general election. Before he was an adviser to Romney, Fehrnstrom was a political columnist for the Boston Herald. According to a profile in GQ, in 1992, he outed recently-elected Massachusetts Rep. Althea Garrison (R) as a transgender woman, effectively ending her political career.

To Mara Keisling, director of the National Center for Transgender Equality, the malicious outing and the presence of Fehrnstrom on Romney’s staff is simply unacceptable.

“Privacy for transgender people is a matter of survival, physical and economic survival,” Keisling told Raw Story, “Once you out a trans person, you can’t just ‘Etch a Sketch’ it away.”

Fehrnstrom made his name in Boston as a “blue-collar conservative” columnist whose hard-hitting style got him moved from sports reporting to the political beat at the Rupert Murdoch-owned Herald, which was the splashy, tabloid-style counterpart to the more staid Boston Globe. He and his fellow reporter Howie Carr brought what GQ called a “nasty and resentful” tone to the paper’s political reportage, making the Herald a kind of perfect weapon against the 1988 Democratic presidential nominee, gormless former Massachusetts Governor Michael Dukakis.

It was for a local official, however, that Fehrnstrom reserved one of his nastiest political hits. Althea Garrison was a Boston politician and activist who was elected as a Republican to the Massachusetts state House in 1992. Two days after her election victory, Fehrnstrom published an article in the Herald announcing that Garrison had been born male.

“I can remember his glee when he found the birth certificate,” said a former Herald reporter named Robert Connolly.

Continue reading at:  http://www.rawstory.com/rs/2012/05/11/top-romney-aide-outed-transgender-woman-in-political-smear/

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National Coalition Urges Congress to Consider Sweeping Social Security Proposals for Women, Caregivers and Same-Sex Couples

Now Press Release:  http://now.org/press/05-12/05-11.html

May 11, 2012

“The truth is, as our nation ages and retirement income continues to decline for millions of Americans, Congress should be talking about the adequacy of Social Security’s benefits — not cutting them. Congress should examine the inequities that have created a poverty rate for senior women and widows that is 50 percent higher than other retirees 65 and older. We can break this Social Security glass ceiling — in fact, we must do so to preserve the economic security of generations of American women and their families.” Max Richtman, NCPSSM President/CEO

The National Committee to Preserve Social Security and Medicare Foundation, the National Organization for Women Foundation and the Institute for Women’s Policy Research briefed congressional staff today on their research examining the challenges facing elderly women and their families in the U.S. Their report, “Breaking the Social Security Glass Ceiling: A Proposal to Modernize Women’s Benefits,” also proposes initiatives to ensure Social Security benefits are adequate for all Americans, particularly for women and women of color.

“Our proposals are designed to modernize the Social Security system and recognize particularly the changes that have occurred in women’s lives and in family life, so that women will be rewarded more fairly for the full value of the work they do, both in the labor market and in raising the next generation. We can strengthen the Social Security system to address the gender gap in retirement that reveals many more older women in poverty than older men, while still addressing the financial needs of the program.” Dr. Heidi Hartmann, Institute for Women’s Policy Research President

“If implemented, the recommendations we make in ‘Breaking the Social Security Glass Ceiling’ will go a long way toward creating a retirement and disability insurance program that recognizes the new reality of working women and men, and values women’s role in society as both breadwinners and primary caregivers. Crediting women’s years out of the paid labor force is a long overdue feature that NOW strongly supports and urges lawmakers to support as well.” Terry O’Neill, NOW Foundation President

Here are just some of the recommendations in this groundbreaking report:

  • Improving Survivor Benefits. Women living alone often are forced into poverty because of benefit reductions stemming from the death of a spouse. Providing a widow or widower with 75 percent of the couple’s combined benefit treats one-earner and two-earner couples more fairly and reduces the likelihood of leaving the survivor in poverty.
  • Providing Social Security Credits for Caregivers. We recommend imputed earnings for up to five family service years be granted to workers who leave or reduce their participation in the work force to provide care to children under the age of six or to elderly family members.
  • Equal Benefits for Same-Sex Married Couples and Partners. Gay and lesbian same-sex couples, whether married or not, are denied a host of state and federal benefits that are routinely provided to heterosexual married couples. Social Security benefits should not be denied to qualified retirees because of their sexual orientation.
  • Restoring Student Benefits. When a working parent has died, become disabled or retired, Social Security pays benefits to children until age 18, or 19 if they are still attending high school. In the past, those benefits continued until age 22 if the child was a full-time student in college or a vocational school. Congress ended post-secondary students’ benefits in 1981, which has disproportionately hurt children of parents in blue-collar jobs, African Americans, and lower income students.

“Social Security is a vital lifeline for all Americans, especially women and people of color. When you consider that Social Security provides 90 percent of seniors’ income for 58 percent of unmarried women of color, 53 percent of Hispanics and 47 percent of African Americans, it’s hard to understand why benefit cuts are always the first answer for fiscal hawks hoping to use Social Security for deficit reduction. Building on what works, ‘Breaking the Social Security Glass Ceiling’ offers a modernization plan for Social Security that would strengthen benefits for women and their families while improving the equity and adequacy for generations of Americans.” Dr. Carroll Estes, NPCSSM Foundation Board Chair

While some suggest we can’t afford to provide even current level benefits to America’s retirees, people with disabilities and their families, we disagree. In fact, we believe our nation can’t afford not to provide fair and adequate benefits for future generations of working Americans. A number of funding options are included in this research, including:

  • Eliminate the cap on Social Security payroll contributions.
  • Slowly increase the contribution rate by 1/40th of one percent over 20 years.
  • Treat all salary reduction plans like 401Ks.

Together, these proposals provide revenue increases equal to 3.99 percent of taxable payroll. They would close the actuarial deficit (2.67 percent of payroll) while also funding the modest program improvements recommended.

The full report, “Breaking the Social Security Glass Ceiling,” is available online (PDF).

You can watch the entire briefing on C-Span »
###

For Immediate Release
Contact: Latoya Veal w. 202-628-8669, ext. 116, c. 301-660-3447

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Chicago police accused of intimidation as Nato demonstrations planned

From The Guardian UK:  http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/us-news-blog/2012/may/11/chicago-police-intimidation-accusation-nato

Video appears to show officers asking protesters about Nato summit plans, adding that they would ‘come looking for’ them


Friday 11 May 2012

Chicago police have been accused of intimidating protesters ahead of the Nato conference next week.

A video posted to YouTube appears to show officers saying they would “come looking for” protesters after a traffic stop in the city.

Thousands of protesters are expected to gather in Chicago when the city hosts the Nato conference on 20-21 May. Police have been criticised for spending some $1m on riot gear ahead of the demonstrations.

YouTube user NewsPowerTV posted the three-minute video, which it said was “anonymously submitted” on Monday. It said the video showed officers “intimidating and threatening physical violence against protesters arriving in Chicago on May 9th, 2012″. The user later posted a 30-minute, unedited, version of the encounter.

In the footage an officer is heard asking: “You guys got something planned for next week?” Before one of the protesters says they are heading to Occupy Chicago.

Continue reading at:  http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/us-news-blog/2012/may/11/chicago-police-intimidation-accusation-nato

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The Rachel Maddow Show – Inappropriate laughter calls Romney sincerity into question

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Mother of murdered gay son: Romney’s prank was ‘an act of torment’

From Raw Story:  http://www.rawstory.com/rs/2012/05/10/mother-of-murdered-gay-son-romneys-prank-was-an-act-of-torment/

By Eric W. Dolan
Thursday, May 10, 2012

Judy Shepard, whose son was murdered for being gay, blasted Republican presidential candidate Mitt Romney for allegedly harassing prep school classmates he judged to be too effeminate.

“While this may seem like an innocent prank to some, it was an act of torment against a child for being different,” Shepard said. Her son Matthew was kidnapped and brutally murdered in 1998. “We expect the people we elect to be leaders in the charge against bullying so that all students are afforded the right to learn and grow in an environment free of fear. This incident calls into question whether Mitt Romney can be an advocate for the nation’s most vulnerable children.”

A Washington Post article published on Thursday described how Romney and his friends pinned down a fellow classmate, John Lauber, and cut his hair with scissors. Romney had complained that it was “wrong” for the boy, who was often teased and accused of being gay, to have such long hair.

Responding to the story, Romney said at the time he had “no idea what that individual’s sexual orientation might be.”

Continue reading at:  http://www.rawstory.com/rs/2012/05/10/mother-of-murdered-gay-son-romneys-prank-was-an-act-of-torment/

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Mitt Romney Bullied Gay Classmate?

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