In retrospect I view being transsexual as something that was actively the center of my life for about a half dozen years.
Yes, there was a before when having been born transsexual was repressed, denied and festered like a deep desire, a desire to be, that I was afraid to answer. The struggle to find both the courage and the words to accept myself and then face the world with that inner truth took time.
Some of us have a supportive parental environment others do not. For my generation it took the spread of the availability of medical treatment that coincided with that era of freedom and liberation.
I was in what might have been the ultimate accepting environment of Berkeley in the late 1960s, among hippie radicals, where we the ethos of “Do as you must, but harm no one” and “Do your own thing” was fostered.
The hardest part was saying the words, but once I spoke those words and came out it was like jumping on a bobsled. There was a time of focused frantic activity centered upon transition and surgery and yet more surgery to correct the initial surgery. Then there was healing and more social adjustment.
Then time created distance and growth in directions that took me away from the transgender community and even from the people with transsexualism in transition community.
Many years have passed, so many that I have been female far longer than I was male. So many years have passed I have been Suzan for two thirds of my life
I don’t feel hostile the way some do, I even feel supportive, but so many of the concepts I hear from the modern trans-activist community seem so alien.
There is a clamor regarding transgender representation on Gay and Lesbian Organization Boards. But I never saw very much transgender participation in the gay and lesbian community prior to the late 1990s and mostly what I saw then was demanding from the gay and lesbian communities rather than contributing to those communities.
I honestly see my place in the alphabet soup as being more accurately described by the “L-word” (not the series) than the “T-word” and even that is a stretch as I am more a left wing old hippie dyke and don’t much fit the up-scale lesbian marketing demographic.
Which brings us to the latest tizzy. About numbers on Boards. I notice Get Equal has the highest percentage. It is also one of the newest formed. But how big a percentage is enough? I doubt TS/TG people even make up .01% of the population while gay and lesbian people make up about 10% so would a 10% representation be considered proportional?
Would I be counted as “Trans” even though I resist that label?
What if I would rather be part of the gardening dykes with cats who like both jazz and folk music?
The Transgender Borg Collective’s propaganda line goes as follows:
In the bad old days transsexuals were told not to associate with other transsexual transgender people. The were told to go stealth and vanish.
Never mind that half of that is fiction, lets do some unpacking, some examining of the above concept.
Actually no one told us to not associate with transgender people. Something that should be obvious from the friendships of both post-transsexual and transgender sex workers.
Also many post-transsexual folks are life long friends with several other post-transsexual people.
As for vanishing… Is that even possible for those of us on-line?
What makes membership in the transgender community problematic for long term post-transsexuals who have any sort of life beyond the community is that the self -centered focus of transgender folks is boring.
Even the activists.
Transsexuals get SRS and then, if they have any brains and any desire to grow beyond the pre-op mentality, do so.
Even places like the Gay and Lesbian Ghettos are mostly for the young and single.
Older couple go therefor restaurants and entertainment but the pace of life in those communities is frantic with its hysterical trendiness and constant cruising.
I know it upsets transgender people and even my pre-op sisters that post-transsexual women can go places and do things they cannot. People think we should fight for their inclusion but the years after SRS make us more and more members of the sex were were surgically reassigned to and our values become those of other women and in the case of brothers, men.
We don’t want your label. We do not want to be deprived of our lives that we have worked for.
We might be willing to work for laws and the like but we have our own circles of friends, our own interests and even our own politics.
I’m bothered when my straight sisters make blanket statements about post-transsexuals or even all transsexuals not being part of the gay and lesbian communities. Many of us are and we don’t need a “T”, as many of us are lesbians and many brothers are gay.