We Wanna Be Excommunicated or What’s a Girl Gotta Do to Get a Drink Around Here

My friend Andrea and I hate the Catholic Church in the manner that only some one raised in its oppressive clutches can.

We were involuntarily violated by having a ritual performed upon us in our infancy when we were too young to consent.

Ever since I have reached the age of reason and been confronted the contradiction of having been born transsexual, which is to say in the words of the Papal Bullshit, “intrinsically disordered” and I discovered the Epicurean Dilemma:

If god is omnipotent and permits evil, then god is malevolent

If god can not prevent evil then he is not omnipotent

Therefore if god is either malevolent or not omnipotent why consider him god?

Being born an abomination in the eyes of the Church raises serious doubts about the infallibility of this supposed god.  With choices like not even thinking about what you are born with and an eternity in some lake of fire its almost enough to make a girl wish her mother had aborted her.

Ooops… Abortion to is a mortal sin.  In fact it seems almost as though being born female is some what sinful in the eye of the Holy Roman Church of Pedophilia.

But be that as it may my parents sent my sissy transkid ass to catechism and had me kneel before the magic word sayer in order to participate in ritualized cannibalism eating a piece of bread that stuck to the roof of my mouth and because it had been transmogrified into the flesh of Jesus I wasn’t supposed to touch it with my tongue.

What a waste of several weeks of precious summer complete with the daily poundings by the bullies who took it upon themselves to punish me for what I was born.

By the time the final ritual I was forced to participate in rolled around, (confirmation) I was already a stone atheist and a full blown teen age transkid planning on getting a sex change operation.

I was expected to go through the magic ritual any way.

Now I know people get excommunicated and I haven’t believed in a god for over 45 years now.  No gods, No masters and all that but on several occasions when I have found myself in unpleasant proximity to one of these scam artists I have asked, “How do I get formally excommunicated?  I want to never ever on any level be associated with or claimed by the Catholic church.”

They all give me some sort of wishy washy answer that says they are sort of like the Mormons who baptize every person who dies into their cult.  But not one of them wants to tell me how to formally get a declaration of excommunication that I can proudly display.

So yesterday when my dear friend and frequent contributor to this blog wrote the following I basically laughed my ass off and thought I can’t publish this.  But then I thought.

Why the hell not?  After all what could they do?  Excommunicate us?  A girl can only hope…

By Andrea Brown

[spelling errors are deliberate]

Vedi, Veni, Reni, Recti, Peni, Penetrati-Rectum.

I ze Pope Ben-e-dick-i-rectum, RECTUMFUHRER of ze Holyiest Catholic church hereby issuze zis papal bull(shit).

Vi have consulted vit mein RECTUMFUHRER, Ze Cardinalz Himmler och Bormann at ze Reichstag here in Greater Berlin, now known as Rome.

Az of today, zis will be law for alt in ze United Kingdom.

Ve deal with ze Britisher degenerate pigdogs und undermensch, firsta. Den Vi vill hav ze Operation Barbarossa and deal vith ze Soviet menace und create ze living room for ze pure.

I RECTUMFUHRER Ben-E-Dick-i-Rectum declar zat ze degenerate homosexual and transsexual menace vil hav to report till ze nu Ghetto for de degenerates i Shetland Islands.

Tranzportation vil be provided to all degenerates till ze nu high living standard ghetto. All nu living quarters hav been superiorly designed by ze master race to giv appropiate living conditions til ze degenerates.

Du vill liv in ze Ghetto area. Du vil not be permitted to congregate vit normalt
people as du may cause ze extinction of alt humanity.

Alt ze Parishez vil pray away ze gayz.

Ze Uber Godz, Adolf Hitler vil lizten to ze prayerz av ze pure, praying awyz ze gayz.

Ze youngest and prettiest med ze tightest rectums, vill be selected for special treatment und hav special houzing and treatment. Zey vil be houzed in ze special parochial houses which vill serve as brothels for ze rightous and god fearing officers of ze church of ze master race.

Alt degenerates vil report to ze local priest, vare zu will submit to anal examination i de Anal Strazze examination suite i parochial howze. Zu degenerates vil den report til ze cattle truckz for immediate deportation to your nu life in efter du hav entered ze specialz showerz.

Vit regard to ze tranzzexual und transveztited degenerates, zey vill also be housed within ze ghetto immediately. Those degenerates vad vish till hav der genitalz removed vil report to Cardinal Mengle at his Eunuch research centre. Those who wish to dress as women may only do so in the confines of ze ghetto und vil submit zer rectums fir tightnez examination. Unholyz lack of tightnezz which vil reduce priest enjoyment, wil earn ze degenerate a ticket to jump zee queue til ze nu showerz, leading to ze better ghetto.

Az a church ve cannot allow ze homosexualz, tranzzexualz und transveztited degenerates til hav access to ourz mozt holy church, as ve have far too many as it is. Zer minority is to much i ze priesthood. Ze paedophiles feelz uncomfortable at ze rizing numbers of non-paedophiles, which is ze desgrazeful situation. Vi must increaze ze number of ze paedophiles, so az til maintain normality i ze holyz church.

If ve were to allow any homosexual i ze Catholic seminary, ze church would be in a sorry state. Ve hav rules, prozeedures and years of demented study before you can be accepted into our men’s club. They muzt be completed.

ZE VAGINA IZ EVIL, UND MUST BE DEZTROYED..

Also,the same applies to tranzzexual und transveztited degenerates. Ve cannot allowz just anyone to vear ze dress. It took me over 60 years before i could vear expensive dresses all the time. I prefer white, ze red really didn’t suit mine colouring, although i vas partial to brown shirtz when i vas younger.

If homosexual and tranzzexualz und transveztited people vant to enter ze church and achieve ze high office, well ze vill just have to do as ve all did. Seminary, college, study, vorking in poor parishes, looking after altar boys, raping them, singing Kumbaya vith ze childrens choir, condemning single mothers, ostracising openly homosexualz, etc.

Ze cannot expect just to walk in and take over…ze must follow ze code…no one muzt ever know zu are ein homosexual, transsexual or transveztit.

ZU VIL OBEY UND COMPLY.

Ze Holynezz

Pope Ben-e-dick-i-rectum, Rectumfuhrer Benedict (Jo Ratzinger)

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