CNN had an article online last week titled “Commentary: Transgender people are everywhere,” by a transsexual woman named
Donna Rose. She starts out reminding us of Chaz Bono, Sonny and Cher’s kid, formerly named Chastity, who recently announced that he was transitioning from a female to male gender identity. This is a high-profile celebrity transition, Rose says, but it is not such a rare event.
We’re a cross-section of society — pilots, engineers, doctors, factory workers, artisans and pretty much anything else you can imagine. It was only a matter of time before we came to Hollywood. Make no mistake — Chaz isn’t the first and certainly won’t be the last.
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In a very real sense, transgender people are no one thing. We are everyone, everywhere. Whether you realize it or not, we go to your school, we are active in your communities of faith, we are your neighbors, your co-workers, your family members. Commentary: Transgender people are everywhere
We sometimes quote an estimated statistic that about one tenth of one percent of the population is transgender. That’s not very many people, which makes the situation harder, because many people have no experience at all interacting with a transgender person. They haven’t given it a thought, don’t know what to say, and sometimes respond with anger at their own awkwardness when they do find themselves face to face with someone who does not conform to their expectations about gender. Rose’s point here is a good one, that in fact there are transgender people in all walks of life. A few celebrities might get noticed by the media or whatever, but there are a lot of people who have quietly made adjustments in their ordinary lives to correct the erroneous assignment of gender at birth.
We live in a world that tries to force all of us to conform to the expectations and roles established for our bodies at birth, yet our heart and our spirit often realize that we have been miscast in life. We are forced to ask questions of ourselves about things that few ever consider.
The search for answers is indeed the pathway for overall happiness and fulfillment in life. This is a journey that each of us is on — trans and not — and the simple fact of the matter is that the transgender journey may appear unique, but the end goal is a universal one: Happiness.
Needless to say, there are those who continue to live in a world where “different” somehow automatically means bad, or is a threat. These are people who would keep transgender people trapped in stigmas of mental illness, moral weakness, sexual perversion and general societal freakishness.
It seems to me that nature gives us sexual qualities, we don’t need to pretend to have them. A man shouldn’t need to “act like” a man, a woman shouldn’t have to “act like” a woman, you are what you are already, and everything you do is an expression of that. Maybe your nature is stereotypical of your sex, and maybe it is not, by degrees. But there is social pressure pushing us as individuals toward the ends of the continuum, a feminine man or masculine woman is punished in everyday interactions by stares and comments and worse, discrimination, violence.
I like her comments about people who believe “different” somehow automatically means bad. Really, that’s the heart of it, that’s the thing we argue about here on this blog, this is what brings TTF to the cultural battlefield. Our unifying value is the belief that someone can be different from us and still be a good person. We undermine social pressure toward conformity, especially on sex and gender dimensions, and oppose efforts to dehumanize and sanction individuals who are different from the statistical norm. We stand for freedom of personal expression.
Our defense is a simple one: We prove who we are, individually and collectively, not with words but with the courage to come out and the ability to live our lives with dignity and grace.
It may come as a surprise for many people in this country to recognize that many of us who are transsexual are not embarrassed, ashamed or otherwise apologetic of who or what we are. We refuse to go back into the stifling closet of trying to be something we’re not.
We enjoy each and every day being unique, as men and women and everything in between, and we rejoice in our diversity rather than fear it. The ties that bind us are far more than the obvious connections of gender. They are bonds of courage, authenticity, integrity and pride.
You have to admire people who have the courage to make their lives right. You know there is almost no social support for someone changing the public expression of their gender identity. Our society, in fact I expect it is accurate to say all societies, have characteristic role expectations dichotomized by gender, and when someone switches roles or expresses an identity somewhere in the middle it makes people uncomfortable. We don’t have routinized behaviors for interacting with someone of uncertain gender, and many people react negatively. Yet thousands of people every year are brave enough to make the transition. I can’t even imagine how hard that must be.
Ms. Rose has a good point to make here.
Transgender people are victimized by crime more frequently than the general population. Many of us find ourselves unemployed and unable to be hired for jobs for which we are well qualified simply because we are transgender. And, as harsh as this life can be for us, many previous generations had it even worse. Things are changing — slowly but surely.
Why are they changing? Because transgender people are here to stay. We’ve been here all along and we’re finally acknowledging that our unique journey is part of who we are, but not ALL of who we are. Chaz is a courageous brother. He is a role model to others struggling with similar issues and questions. He is someone who has taken control of his life and intends to live it to the fullest. These are not things to fear. These are things to admire.
The message here is not one of our bodies, but one of our spirits. It is not one of becoming something you’re not; it is of accepting what you are. As French writer Andre Gide said: “It is better to be hated for what you are than loved for what you’re not.” Many of us have experienced these words first-hand and know them to be true. Chaz knows who and what he is. That is not something to fear. That is something to celebrate.
This month marks the fortieth anniversary of the Stonewall riots, which in many minds marked the beginning of the revolution for gay rights. We use an acronym “LGBT,” sometimes switching the L and the G, and sometimes forgetting about the T. In recent years, as Congress has debated an act that would require equal employment opportunities for gay and lesbian citizens, there has been real debate about whether that protection should be offered to transgender individuals, too, or just LGB. The debate has caused tension in some quarters between gay and transgender people, with gay people explaining that they really don’t feel much in common with the transgender community and hoping that gay rights are not postponed while Congress considers whether to include this other group. I think the transgender community is realizing that they have to speak up for themselves, they will not ride automatically on the successes that gay and lesbian people have seen. That may be the good that comes out of the inclusive-ENDA debate.
