We don’t need another hero.
Trans-folks who came out after about 1980 are second, third and forth generation TS/TG people not pioneers.
First Olympic Champion who transitioned (That I Know of off the top of my head): That honor goes to (From Wikipedia) Erik Schinegger (born 19 June 1948) is an Austrian intersexual and transgender skier. He was the world champion women’s downhill skier in 1966, at which time he was recognized as female and known as Erika Schinegger
Erik came out back in my era of the late 1960s early 1970s. Fifty years thereabouts before Caitlyn.
We don’t need another hero with dubious claims to hero status. I have dozens of heroes among my Facebook friends; Lynn Conway, Dana Beyer, Andrea James and Brynn Tannehill to name but a few. I may not always agree with a number of activists but I have to admire their dedication.
I’m not all that big on the models, but there are several women in the world of music whom I admire and whose CDs I buy.
As for those sisters who are in the world of acting. I wish them all the best. It is time to end the practice of casting non-trans folks in the role of trans-folks. They never ever get it right and it just perpetuates stereotypes. Time to see the same sorts of protests over that one as the current protests about casting a white actress to play the role of a mixed race woman in Aloha, a movie I know of only from the controversy.
We don’t need another hero.
There are two or three things I know for certain having learned these lessons the hard way over the many years that have turned me into an old woman some look to for wisdom.
Self esteem comes from within. Your therapist may validate your parking when you pay for a session but your therapist cannot really validate your life.
No amount of cosmetic surgery, make-up, jewelry or expensive clothes can make you real. They are all artifice and artifice is not the path to realness. The path to realness comes from within. It comes from embracing the path you have walked through life. Not one other person dealing with the impact of a trans-prefixed word in their life has the same life experiences as you. This to me is where “identity based communities” went off the tracks. Look at all the demands placed on people to have proper thoughts and use politically approved words to describe their lives, to erase individuality for the sake of community.
Real validation comes from within.
Over the last 20 years we have gone from Usenet, to mailing lists, to blogs and now social media. All of which have seemed focused on becoming stars of the particular virtual community of the moment.
Caitlyn Jenner was the final straw for me. I watched as real activists, people who had worked hard for real change were ignored for the latest media darling. I’ve watched the identical pattern for over 50 years.
In the end our communities are where we live, they are our circles of friends, co-workers, the stores we go to buy our groceries at. For some that includes churches.
The idea that communities are based on identities is straight out of Brave New World.
You don’t need heroes. You need real world friends, not virtual communities. Friends you can have over for dinner and go do things with. It is time to get past the idea of being a star with adoring fan/followers.
You don’t have to be an activist. this is more bullshit pushed by self appointed leaders. It is perfectly fine to be a book worm who has a hobby of making macrame objects from paracord, hemp cord and found objects. No one has any right to fault you if you want to spend your weekends at garage sales and flea markets instead of demonstrations for some cause or other.
Over the last few months I have been unfriending people on Facebook. Not because of any real animosity but because I don’t recognize their names and have no idea why we friended each other. Probably because at one point I looked upon having lots of Facebook friends as a popularity contest and a form of self validation. I am keeping friends I made who share common ideas, who make me laugh, share common values. I’m also keeping friends who share contradictory ideas and values while sharing common interests because living in a world of sycophants sucks.
Yesterday I mentioned how I am debating taking this blog down and someone immediately asked if they could take it over. Short answer is, “No.” If I take it down I will make a point of holding on to the domain name for a while to keep it from being hijacked the way Pandagon was when Amanda Marcotte took her blog down.
I have gone round and round, sorting out what means the most to me in life. Even the label post-transsexual feels like too much attachment to a distant life event. I never bought into the idea of transsexual or transgender as a lifelong identity.
Life goes on.
I’m a crunchy old hippie dyke. The LGBT community seems like it is for young folks, with its parades, parties and petty squabbles. I no longer feel like I am a part of it.
When this blog dies I will start a different one, one about being an old hippie woman.
I was a hippie before I came out. I was a hippie during the process of changing sex. I was a hippie of sorts all the years since those days and now I am an old hippie woman. Hopefully at least a few folks look upon me as wise.
Through out my life my I’ve been part of numerous subcultures. Now I am part of one that everyone who lives past 65 or so joins. I am old and being old tends to supersede other “identities.”
I am looking forward to marrying my life partner this fall. there is no such thing as gay marriage, only marriage. When that happens we will join the ranks of old married couples.